Monday, October 31, 2011

None Holds A Candle

If kids come trick-or-treating to your door tonight, be sure to dress properly.

The original and best
And if you're going to watch Halloween before bedtime, may I please press you to John Carpenter's original 1978 classic?

As with many things in life, there are sequels and remakes, but none holds a candle to the original.

Happy Halloween.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

Less Squinting Of The Eye

Today, there is grapefruit for breakfast.

I wonder idly who did the shopping. I like grapefruit, but I prefer my breakfast experience to involve less sourness. Less pursing of the lips. Less squinting of the eye.

I pick up the swollen yellow fruit and give it an experimental sniff.

Indigo Roth and grapefruit. Nothing but rumours. And then I move my nose closer, and smell it slower, longer.

It's 1972. I am four years old, and sat happily in the child seat of a wire-frame shopping trolley. My mother is pushing it through the local supermarket in the Westside area of town. We come here every Thursday morning. I'm moving backwards as she walks and chatters to me, but this seems to make everything a little more exciting; new shapes and colours drift into view constantly from both sides, and everything begs to be picked up.

I smile as only a child can.

Suddenly, I'm aware of a sharp smell, a scent I'm unfamiliar with. I wrinkle my nose, and look up at my mother. Seeing my expression, she frowns momentarily before understanding dawns across her thirty-something face. She points to a pile of huge yellow fruit, and tells me it's called grapefruit, and that it's nice.

Back in the now, I smile at the memory.

But I'm not the only one with sharp fruit for breakfast.

Next to me, sat at the table with an unrolled set of tools, is my best friend iDifficult. He has several grapefruit in front of him, all of which appear to be frozen. A series of electrodes are implanted into each in turn, which are connected via a misty container of liquid nitrogen to a large hotplate. The red-hot metal square fair bristles with a stack of sizzling, quickly-crisping bacon, powered only by the electricity from his super-conducting grapefruit array.

The loopy arch-genius looks anxiously at some kind of voltmeter, and cheeses a grin as he scribbles down some numbers.

I don't think he's going to eat the grapefruit.

But I don't fancy the bacon's chances.

At the other end of the table is Yavin. The badger engineer, already in his overalls, is cutting into his own grapefruit with a folding knife. His flat cap sits beside him on the tablecloth; it's bad form to wear it at the table, tho not to bring it with him.

After a few swift, precise cuts, my black-and-white companion tucks into the grapefruit with a spoon. His nose twitches and his eye winks involuntarily as he chews the juicy flesh of the fruit. And I'm pretty sure I can just hear his toes wiggling beneath the table.

I know that badgers love Bergman, but they also love citrus fruit.

And at least I now know who did the shopping.

I take another sniff of my grapefruit, and I'm again transported momentarily back through the decades.

Grapefruit are nice, Indigo.

As I slice my breakfast in half and fuss around the edges, loosening the segments, I reflect that it only took me twenty years to realise that my mother was right.

But that's okay; it happens a lot.

Most things you have to learn for yourself.

And these things take time.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Friday, October 14, 2011

Indigo 101 Redux

Revised! Updated! Now with Abbey and extra badgers! And video!

Well, it's possible that I may be getting a new visitor or two. If I'd known that you were coming, I'd have baked a cake. Or got dressed.

I've nothing prepared, so here's a quick catch-up on my most popular/favourite blog entries. I've arranged them into a few categories, so you can choose the kind of stuff you like. Ooh, before we get going, I'd best do this:

Dramatis Personae

Indigo Roth - me. Author. Artist. Occasional spy. Frequent fool.
iDifficult/Max - my best friend. Part-time arch-genius. Unhinged.
Yavin - a badger engineer. Lives in the garden. Never speaks.
Abbey - my lovely neighbour. Always shoeless. Spiritually gifted.
Bear - a seven-foot tall black bear. Close friend and conscience.
King - a lion. Lives in my house. Steals my ties. Likes zebras.
Elliot - an elephant. Stoic parole officer assigned to iDifficult.

And just to warm you up, here's a self-portrait I drew for one of the entries below. * (It's worth a click to see detail)

One of my favourite pictures I've drawn. Ever.
My Favourite Stuff (Click a link)
- Thinking Outside The Box
- Rimsky Korsakov And Tonic
- Most Definitely Not Canon
- The Silence Of The Ducks

The Picture's The Thing
- Shaking The Family Tree
- Shoulda Been Armed For Bear
- In Awe Of Barefaced Talent
- Lawn Mowing Avoidance *

Adventures With iDifficult
- Just Like The Real Thing
- A Disconcerting Little Tune
- The Wisdom Of Invertebrates
- Super Rare Holographic Clergy

Lions And Badgers And Bears - Oh My!
- Ignore Any Quiet Knocking
- Sometimes They Even Think
- Taking Turns With Shrugs
- Some Scratching Of Chins
- Comfortable And Undemanding

The Abbey Arc
- Glacial In Its Glow
- It Must Be The Sunflowers
- The Butler Didn't Do It
- Receiving A Bad Grade

Dafter Stuff
- A Simple Flight Of Stairs
- Intervention In Aisle Three
- It All Ends With Jazz Hands
- Views From A Hill

Straighter Stuff
- For Today I Am The Dog
- Passing Into Mental Myth
- Stripped Of Red and Yellow
- Shifting Mental Loose Change

Longer Stuff
- A Shower Of Gravelly Memories
- Always A Cause To Dream
- A Ratchetting Of Vertebrae
- Manners Maketh The Man

Misunderstood
- A Frozen Game Of Patience
- Catching Passes In Traffic
- Season Two Finale

And once you make sense of all that, you might make sense of this:



Thanks for reading!


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2010

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Certainly No More Than Two

May I share something with you?

I drew this up when I sat down to take a long, hard look at my blogging life.

Indigo Roth's The Periorothic Table(Click on it, it's rather cool)

My life is not exactly one dimensional, but certainly no more than two.

No doubt you're naturally wondering what possible application this has.

Well, here's the formula for Sunday.

Indigo Roth, thoroughly plastered.There's a legend if you click. And yes, it's entirely accurate.

The first person who says I have too much time on my hands wins a prize.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Perhaps Not In Cold Weather

As ever, my time is not my own.

As a result, I have been away from my keyboard for a while. It's only been two weeks, of course, but that's an eternity in blogging terms, and the shareholders (dare I say stakeholders?) are getting restless. Dammit, they want to see product.

Well, that's too bad. Just typing is testing my mettle at the moment.

Indigo Roth, thoroughly plastered.I would normally find it easy to think outside the box, run ideas up the flagpole, and push the envelope. But despite my best efforts, after pushing the aforementioned envelope, I remain stationery.

You may ask how I came to be here. Well, that's a funny tale. Well, I expect I'll laugh about it in years to come. Though perhaps not in cold weather.

But for now, let's just say that if a close friend asks for your help testing his new invulnerability suit, don't let him run you over with a truck until beta testing is complete.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011