Friday, August 31, 2012

Growling Up The Wrong Tree

I’m fuming as I carry the tray of food away from the counter.

Sorry I was so long, I growl, forgetting that the huge black bear waiting for me at the table won’t be the least bit impressed with my best effort at growling. They had no food ready. At dinner time! I slam the tray down. It's ridiculous!

And I thought I was the one with the sore head, says Bear without a hint of irony.

I throw myself into my seat.

I tore a strip off the fella serving, I add gruffly.

Uh huh, Bear grunts, not meeting my eye.

You heard all that? I ask, pausing as I arrange our food in front of us. The adrenaline is still in my veins, but it’s cooling a little. Bear lifts his wrapped burger from the tray and sniffs at it. His look speaks of approval. Approval of the burger, anyway. There were a few folk outside that didn’t, maybe? he offers dryly as he looks for the edge of the wrapper on the round, heavy, white bundle. We had to travel a long way to buy this; not many of these franchises serve the four-pounder Über-Mac.

Ten seconds later, Bear still hasn't found his way into the burger.

Want me to help unwrapping that? I ask as I hesitantly start to eat.

No thanks, I'm fine. Suddenly, he finesses the greaseproof paper onto the table with a flourish of claws. The well-stuffed burger spins once in the air and performs a perfect-if-heavy three-point landing onto the shiny white square. His ultra-large fries teeter in their upright box for a moment, and then spill onto the square against his burger. He looks sideways at me and adds, But I appreciate your courtesy.

The comment hangs in the air. He waits for my inevitable justification.

Dammit, Bear, they didn’t have any food ready! I hiss. It’s infuriating! You know what time it is?

Time for your dinner, maybe? Did you eat today? He frowns. You seem tense.

He throws a glance my way as he makes his way into his mighty meal. I try to count to ten before answering. It’s difficult.

Not since breakfast, I concede. It hasn’t occurred to me that I’m hungry, which never does my mood any good.

Bad day? my ursine companion slurps past his straw; I had no idea they still serve rootbeer here. My sigh is long and weary. I close my eyes.

Not great. Moved desks at the office, everything was broken ‘til after lunch, though lunch never happened. I sigh. Then once it all did work, it was meetings, meetings, meetings... The rant fades to little more than a tired mumble.

Sounds frustrating, he nods, tucking the last of the burger away with a gulp. I hate it when he does this; agreeing, empathising, steering the conversation, unravelling my mood a thread at a time.

Yeah it was. Having to wait for this dinner was the final straw.

He flips fries into his mouth absently and stares out of the window. He’s waiting. He’s insanely patient.

I should go apologise.

The black bear shrugs. This guy’s just doing his job. It doesn’t matter if he cleans toilets, teaches kids, flies aeroplanes, fights for Queen and Country or flips burgers. He does his job, he gets paid. He pauses to dip a stray fry in ketchup, mostly for dramatic effect. You might not think much of him or what he does, but he works for his living, same as you. He deserves your respect.

His look does not invite disagreement. It’s not needed; I know he’s right.

Yes. Quite so. Sorry.

What are you apologising to me for, you schmuck? he growls. His growl is way better than mine.

I sigh again. I feel stupid being lectured on etiquette by someone who does his number twos in the woods.

He leans closer. You do it in your house, he counters, poking me gently with a razor sharp claw. Now, that just sounds unhygienic.

There’s a moment’s silence and then we both laugh. It feels good.

Back in a moment, I mutter. I pretend not to notice him eyeing my burger as I turn from the table and head back towards the counter.

When I return, Bear raises an inquisitive eyebrow. My burger is gone. I let it go.

Well, I apologised, I say, but he didn’t seem impressed.

You expect him to be grateful that you realised you were an ass?

We... sort of. But I guess... Well, no, I suppose not, I mutter feebly.

He wipes his muzzle with a napkin and checks his paws are clean. Satisfied, he carefully collects his rubbish into a neat pile in front of him. Almost immediately, a forty-something female employee who is passing steps in to clear it away with a quiet, efficient politeness. Bear looks down at the woman from his chair. Thank you.

No trouble at all, Sir! she beams, moving away.

You catch more ants with honey, he observes meaningfully.

And bears, I’ll bet.

He laughs quietly to himself. Aye, maybe so. He slaps me gently on the back. Tomorrow will be better, buddy.

Yeah. I stare up at my wise friend.

He checks his watch.

So, you wanna go for a beer?


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009/2012

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Thursday, August 30, 2012

In A Variety Of Languages

Cows are good for the soul.

I find that, after a trying morning in the office, a walk through Cambridge is a good way to clear my head. I can quickly get down to the river, over the old footbridge, and then walk along through Midsummer Common accompanied by the free roaming cattle.

Giddiness incarnateThey're gentle creatures, and I can almost feel my blood pressure dropping as we stroll together. There's not that many of them, by they seem to gravitate towards me. Perhaps I look like a sucker, a kind fella who'll give them some kind of tasty snack? Or maybe they see me as some kind of bull-headed kindred spirit?

I no more know that than I know who owns them. I assume it's a local farmer, exercising his right to use common land for grazing cattle, but I'm really not certain.

It's possible they're not owned by anyone but themselves?

In fact, they're an enigmatic bunch. Perhaps they're nomadic cattle, late of the Serengeti, electing to eke out their bovine existence on the windswept plains of Eastern England? They probably moved in when nobody was looking, and let everyone assume that, as cattle, they must be someone else's property. And problem.

I try to engage them in conversation in a variety of languages, but they refuse to acknowledge me or answer my simplest questions.

So I can't be sure.

But as I turn to head back to the office, I think I hear one of them talking on a cellphone in Russian.

And I can't find my wallet.


Indigo

Cattle photo blatantly stolen from Animal Photos
This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2010/2012

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Both Tidy And Transparent

I take a lot of photos of myself.

No, wait, let me qualify that. I often take photos of myself. *

[ * When I pick up a camera, I have to take a lot, just to find one I like. One that doesn't look like I've been liberated from the circus, put in a suit and photoshopped onto the evolutionary ladder. ]

And I ask you - would you buy a used car from this man?

Indigo Roth Original
I took this one on Friday after getting a haircut. I like it. What's that you say? Am I naked? Of course not! Look, I'm wearing glasses.

As a ragingly-confident guy, my photo habit may come as no surprise to you. But the reason might. True, I like to put pictures of myself into this blog. And true, it's nice to have a current picture of myself to put on dating websites when I can be bothered. Which isn't often.

But actually, it's mostly that I like to record the moment. **

Tomorrow or next week, I'll look much like I do today, but in ten years time, I don't expect that'll be true. I was surprised to discover that I have a fairly complete record of the past three years' blogging. I think that'll mean more to me as time passes.

[ ** And of course, while I'm holding the camera, you can never have enough pictures of badgers. ]

I mentioned all this to Max, and he headed off excitedly, in that slightly worrying and intense way he has. Taking my photo on the pretence of tidying away "a few bags and wrinkles", he did indeed make a photo of me that looks a little fresher and decaffeinated than the original. But, recruiting the freelance sociopath known only as Shine, the pair of them came up with some future views of me too.

And I ask you again, would you buy a used car from any of these men?

Indigo Roth Photoshop
Which brings me, somewhat tidily-if-transparently, to my new web shop. Yes, crumbling to raging demand from both readers and my bank manager, I've published some of my designs onto customisable t-shirts and postcards!

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The shop, which has astounding t-shirts, clean seaside postcards and a lonely (but magnificent) mug, is here: Indigo Roth on Zazzle

If all goes well, by the time you read this, my Zazzle Panel will be working below. I know, it's a silly name, isn't it? Anyway, fingers crossed!




These might put a pleasant skip in your step on a dull day. Mondays, for a start. Tho I've always been very mistrustful of Tuesdays too.

But this will also help me get my work out there. I've set the royalty to as low as it will go, and kept the designs as simple as I can to make these as affordable as I can.

So yes, I may make a few shekels here and there.

But I promise to donate them all to Domino's.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2012

Friday, August 24, 2012

Dreams of Trinity

May I mention a couple of things before we embark on this fourth and final chapter of Elliot's backstory, collectively called THE LONG ROAD HOME?

First, you may need a flask and sandwiches for this final chapter; it has seven parts, and is thus "brevity impaired".

Second - and most important - this final chapter is totally worth the investment. I am so damned proud of it, I could cry. But despite this being a re-run, and despite being a notorious tinkerer/self-editor, I didn't change a word of it.

Braver souls may choose re-read the whole story from Chapter One on Tuesday to get them in the mood.

You'd best order out for pizza if you do; I favour saucy and meaty. And yes, I'm happy to share yours.

Enjoy.

Indigo



The Long Road Home - Part 4


1 - Carrizozo

Something is coming.

In the sweltering heat of the shaded desert saloon, the bartender dreams of lipstick and low-cut dresses.

Outside, the wind that haunts the New Mexico desert by day and night has lost its voice. Barely a breath of breeze stirs the dust that drifts slowly in the deep shafts of light from the high windows.

The world is uncommonly quiet, but the barman is not surprised. It has been a strange month, a strange year in fact, and he has seen many strange things. He prefers not to think of them.

But he knows that something is coming.

He starts to polish a glass for his first customer of the day, who has yet to arrive, and returns to his burlesque fantasies.

Moments later, he feels it more than hears it. A brief ripple in the air, an unfamiliar fluttering pulse. Involuntarily, he holds his breath. There's a creak from the threshold of the saloon, followed by heavy footsteps and the complaints of old, neglected floorboards. And finally, a bulky figure, wearing a hat and coat that are too heavy for the climate, strides to the edge of shadow in front of the bar.

A huge limb sweeps into the light and deposits a photo onto the counter.

In perfectly accented Spanish, a rumbling voice asks quietly,

Have you seen these men?

Nodding, the bartender points to the west and repeats a single word that has haunted his dreams. He has no idea what it means, but he knows it is the correct answer.

Trinity.

When?

Three hours ago, Señor.

The shape sighs and scratches his gargantuan nose. After a few seconds, a silver dollar spins in the air and lands onto the bar without hesitation.

Bourbon. Ice.

The whiskey is delivered quickly in a sparkling glass. Diamonds clink gently in amber as the glass vanishes into shadow.

Thirty seconds later, the voice seems refreshed, determined.

Gracias.

And with the same rippling in the air, the shape is gone.

The barman nods, though nobody is there to see it, and pockets the change.

Yes, 1945 is turning out to be a strange year indeed.


2 - White Sands

The third time is the charm.

I finally arrive at my destination. Trial and error is not my style, but today it is necessary. My head spins from three unexpected dimensional hops. But it would have been worse without the bourbon. And I could do with another one.

I survey the scorching July scene before me. It’s a scene that’s been waiting for me, buried in the past, since I took this assignment.

A few hundred yards away, the pyramid hangs silently just above the white sands of the New Mexico desert.

I’ve seen plenty of pyramids in my time, vast stone monuments to ancient kings, on this world and others just like it. But this pyramid is small, modern, and cast from a burnished gold which scatters the sunlight lazily. Lights pulse in slow sequence at each of the four corners of its base and at its peak. And, as if to draw a line under its slacking heritage, the time machine hovers solidly eight feet above the ground, almost as if it’s carelessly forgetting gravity rather than snubbing it.

I shake my head. Typical.

Shading the pinch-nez sunglasses perched on the bridge of my trunk, I can just make out three figures milling about in the pyramid’s shadow. They’re obscured by an inevitable heat haze, but even from this distance, I know it’s two men and a bear. I was expecting the lion to be there too, and possibly the honey from next door, but no.

I gently flap my ears, cooling my neck and my thoughts.

Roth and iDifficult have led me a merry dance today, though I suspect that Roth is just a passenger. Either way, I’m ashamed to admit that they’ve been a step or two ahead of me for most of it. First the trick with the buns. Then stealing my ball of string. And then, worst of all, adjusting the energy barriers that are supposed to prevent dimensional shifts to this forbidden destination.

Not enough to stop me. Not even enough to push me off course. Just enough to slow me down. To give them time to prepare for whatever it is they’re here for.

And that’s my goal. Not just to discharge my responsibilities and close this case.

But to end the mystery that has puzzled me for over a year.

To find out why we’re all here.

And, if necessary, to stop them.

I stride towards the pyramid purposefully.

My name is Elliot Nesh. I’m an elephant. I work for the Agency.

And I’m here on business.


3 - One Mile Out

Why do we always end up in the desert?

I’m standing in the shade of the ship, watching the five-foot long rectangular box begin its weightless descent to the ground. The three of us could have manhandled it down, but letting the grav unit do it gently seems more appropriate.

Sorry matey, did you say something? asks iDifficult, the captain of the voyage, looking round. My best friend is sporting a neat, narrow beard that’s shot with grey, and his hair is cropped short. It’s a good look on him, especially with the dark suit.

I shake my head and dust some sand from the lapels of my own suit; not the smartest fashion choice for a hot day, but the correct choice nonetheless.

Nothing, just thinking out loud.

I’m not complaining; today is too important for selfish grumbles. But I’m really not fond of sand. And while I’m happy to be looking at the sunshine from the shade, I’m glad I’m not out in it. Well, not quite yet, at any rate.

A cough from Bear makes us both turn. He’s here. We follow the line of our ursine friend’s extended paw, and see a distant, heavy figure trudging towards us across the flat white sand. He looks out of place in the desert, but I’m not sure where an elephant in a trenchcoat and trilby hat would look at home.

Careful to avoid the lowering box, 'Difficult turns to greet Elliot, and consults his steampunk-ish pocket watch; I recognise it as the core of the time machine.

Elliot! Glad you could make it! Perfect timing! he roars, offering his cheeriest wave. The elephant nods an almost imperceptible greeting, but continues to walk in silence.

A minute later, he stops and stands a few metres from our shade. The sun glitters in his retro sunglasses as he peers past us to examine the plain metal box. Concern passes across his face as it gently touches down.

And suddenly, he’s all business. He flashes his agency badge, making his position clear for an opening gambit.

Gentlemen. We cannot be here. This place, this time, is off-limits.

My friend smiles and nods. I know! It was a devil of a job getting here. Took me years to work out how to do it. You have access codes, I imagine?

Elliot says nothing, and stands his ground quietly.

Anyway, I’m glad you’ve arrived. Bang on time! We need your help.

Mr . Difficult, none of us can be here. We need to leave. He loosens his trenchcoat. There’s a glimpse of the hardware he used to get here. It could recall all of us and the pyramid in a heartbeat.

This isn’t going quite to plan, and 'Difficult glances my way.

I can tell that Elliot’s bluffing; he wants to know why we’re here. But an Agent’s first responsibility is to get us out of here, and that’s not an option for us. I don’t believe for a moment that he’ll do it; he wants us to talk him round. But he looks worried, and we need to cut to the chase before his training takes over.

I step out into the sun and amble forward between the Agent and my friend, determined to short-circuit this stand-off. I wish Abbey was close at hand; she’s better at this than I am.

Elliot, I understand this is your professional position. You have a job to do. There are Rules for this kind of thing. He’s listening, but the box and 'Difficult still have most of his attention, so I wander a little closer, keeping my voice low, reasonable. I’m not a fan of Rules. Rules are what we need when there’s no Order. When people don’t do the right thing. And Order is better than Rules, right?

The mighty head, all ears and trunk, turns to look at me curiously; okay, now I have his attention.

But we’re here to do the right thing, Elliot. We’re truly here for the best of reasons. Come and see why. I emphasise the word, and his body language betrays the turmoil. I put a hand on his shoulder. Please.

There’s a moment of indecision, but then he sighs and relents. In the shadows behind me, Bear clickety-clicks the latches open on one end of the rectangular coffin. Elliot steps fully under the pyramid and approaches the casket as our woodsman raises the top half of the split lid.

Good grief.

The Agent snatches the hat from his head instinctively.

Inside the coffin, resting eternally on a bed of cushioned crimson silk, is a badger, late of this world. The old boar is heavy, greying, with a resplendent white waxed moustache. It is The General, Yavin’s grandfather. He lays in full Masonic regalia, the head of his Order. The golden chain of office lays on his white chest, his gauntleted arms crossed on top. His monacle is tucked unobtrusively on its string into his top pocket.

We share a moment with the old badger. It’s a cliché to say so, but he looks peaceful.

We lost track of this fella decades ago. Where was he hiding?

I stand to Elliot’s left, 'Difficult to his right. A wind rises from behind us, and sand begins to dance in gentle swirls to the west. My friend says quietly,

Can I explain on the way? We have a mile to walk, there’s plenty of time. The Agent regards my friend levelly. This old boy weighs a ton, and we need your help; you’re our fourth pall bearer.

Inside the elephant, the Agent has clocked off. We’re left with Elliot. I know the Agent will return later, but for now the day just got easier. Elliot nods.

Okay. Let’s go.

A few minutes later, the four of us carry the deep, five-feet-long coffin into the blistering heat, and head west. Elliot and 'Difficult lead the way, with Bear and myself in the rear. Each of us wears a dark suit, as befits the occasion; Elliot’s Agent suit is perfect. All of us are barefoot.

Elliot’s trenchcoat and hat lie abandoned in the sand beneath the pyramid, along with two pair of shoes.

The hot sand seeks out the gaps between my toes. I hate sand.

Yet somehow, we always end up in the desert.


4 - Trinity

Being a bear in this kind of heat isn’t easy.

But it needs to be done, and I accept it.

I’m walking beside Indigo, at the back of the coffin. We’re different heights, but it seems useful to have Elliot and 'Difficult up front. They have a lot of catching up to do.

Their expository conversation goes something like this, with Elliot kicking off:

So, how far will we be carrying this coffin?

A mile. It shouldn’t take too long.

Did we park so far away intentionally?

Yep. A mile is a traditional distance for a badger ceremony.

Is that why we’re barefoot?

Yes. Also traditional. Though traditionally we’d be badgers.

Badgers who wear no shoes?

Exactly. The same as tigers.

I thought the lion and your lady neighbour would be here to help.

They were needed elsewhere.

We walk a few more minutes in silence. I can see something in the distance.

So when did The General die?

This morning. In more than one sense, I suppose.

Did you know about it when I arrived at your place?

No, Yavin arrived at the back door to tell me.

Hence the cakes? Clever.

Hence the cakes. Simple.

I try to interrupt. Guys?

So, why are we in New Mexico? On today of all days, I mean?

The short answer is that I’m keeping a promise.

A promise to The General?

Yes.

So, how did you meet?

Um, guys? Still no response.

By chance. Yavin had a picture of him that was taken in 1953. The date made no sense to me, as badger’s live just fifteen to twenty years. In fact, most badger’s don’t survive their first year. Did you know that? Anyway, I decided to go and see him.

The General? In 1953?

Sure. Easy enough. I was curious, and he sounded an interesting character. Roth was busy that day, so I went with Abbey. I met up with the old boy just after the photo was taken. And he was, to say the least, an unhappy badger.

Why so?

Well, he’d been involved in a number of projects as a scientist during the Second World War. He was the first badger to work with the military, you know? One project in particular had haunted him for years before I met him. Really got under his fur.

For pity’s sake, look!

 We come to a halt, impressed. A few hundred yards away, a tower is now visible. It’s a simple metal framework, not unlike an armless electricity pylon, and probably a similar height. Even from this distance, we can see the cabling that leads up to an ominous egg inside the tower near its peak.

Good grief, is that what I think it is?

Yes, I expect so.

And this is New Mexico in July 1945?

Yes, absolutely.

I sigh. You pick your moments, sir.

Elliot waves a hand towards the tower. I take it this was the project that The General he has a problem with? The Manhattan Project? The world’s first atomic bomb?

Yes, he was a hardware specialist when they made the test device.

This test is codenamed Trinity, right?

That’s right. It was never clear why.

And The General regretted his involvement?

We’re walking again, continuing to the tower.

Well, wouldn’t you?

I don’t know. It saved a lot of lives.

And took a lot more. And those people weren’t soldiers. Anyway, he was being pestered back into service as the Cold War got going, so I offered to take him somewhere they’d never look for him.

And where was that?

1984.

That’s rather underhand.

Thank you. Anyway, he liked it there. The music. The hair. The Orwell. He settled down, and tho he was getting on a bit, he had kids. Frisky lads, badgers.

Yavin’s father?

Yes, but that’s another story. Suffice to say, Yavin and his sister were born in 1996. And suddenly all the dates make sense. So, it turns out the reason the dates didn’t make sense was that I was curious about them.

I accept the paradox. These things happen in my line of work.

I figured you’d understand.

So what was the promise you made?

I promised to bring him home. Well, here, anyway. He wanted to return here when he died. I think he thought it fitting, to close the circle of events.

It all sounds rather simple and poetic when you say it like that.

That wasn’t my intention. But yeah, it’s pretty straightforward. Doing it was harder, of course. The energy barrier protecting this place, for one. The work of your Agency?

Sort of. Let’s just say it wasn’t a local decision to protect this historic, world-changing event.

Well, we’re not here to interfere with history or steal secrets or change the world.

No, I see that now. How long was he in the Eighties?

Three years. I left him there as long as I could. He had kids, responsibilities, but I knew he was old and that it was time. He was twenty three, ancient for a badger. I picked him up as soon as I worked out how to bypass the shield here, and took him to Roth’s garden.

Roth's garden? Why there?

Well, he wanted to visit the grandkids and great-grandkids he’d never met; a rare opportunity for everyone. They were pretty much in awe of him. Especially Dantoo, Yavin’s niece. I’d not met her before. Smart little thing.

I’ll bet. Okay, one more question.

Columbo style?

Exactly. He was a pro. When will The Bomb be tested?

Tomorrow morning. 5:30am. We’ll watch.

Silence falls. Elliot shifts the coffin’s weight uncomfortably.

Do you need another question, Agent?

Yeah, I do. Why couldn’t you have both put me and Bear at the back? We’re both seven feet tall. With you and Roth at the front, this coffin wouldn’t be so damned wonky.

I didn’t think. Hey look, we’re here.


5 - Farewell

There is a multitude of badgers.

A family or colony of badgers is known as a Clan, but any large gathering of badgers is called a Brock. Today, New Mexico is host to a Brock, the likes which it will never witness again.

As we walk the final twenty yards, I cast my eyes across the gathering of distinguished boars, elegant sows, and a surprising number of cubs. I’m interested and then ashamed to realise that I can tell them all apart easily. The eccentric, colourful clothes help. I notice that they’re all barefoot, and somewhat dusty.

The badgers stand quietly, fifty yards from the tower, a wide straight line centred on a neat rectangular grave. In the centre stands Abbey, my lovely neighbour. Dressed in a simple pink and orange summer dress, her blonde hair moving in the breeze, she is, as ever, barefoot. She smiles my way.

Next to Abbey is King, our resident lion. He’s resplendent in a dark suit and white shirt that matches my own, and a vibrant red necktie that was actually in my wardrobe when I got up this morning. His mane is glorious, and occasionally braided. King is Abbey’s escort for her duties today.

Perhaps sharing my earlier thought, 'Difficult chips in quietly, See how dusty they are? Every one of them helped dig the grave. Even the cubs. They think of it as his final tunnel. I have no reply, but hiss an urgent new question.

How come we’re here unchallenged? I though the military would be all over us?!

See that fella at the back? I notice for the first time a tall, well-groomed man standing nervously just behind King. You’ll never guess who he is. He worked with The General, and has made arrangements to keep the army offsite for a few hours. Abbey explained everything to him. Time travel, Elliot, badgers, everything. Took it all on the chin. The open mind of a scientist, eh?

Good grief, Julius Robert Oppenheimer.

A figure steps from the line and approaches the four of us and our cargo. It’s Yavin, the chief engineer of the Clan from my back garden. It strikes me that I have no idea what the Clan name is? I shake the thought aside, and try to focus. I was expecting my short, black-and-white friend to be dressed formally, but he is in his usual dungarees. His flat cap is folded and tucked into his hip pocket.

We exchange nods, and he indicates that we should bring the coffin forward and lay it alongside the grave. We do this and retreat a few steps as the line of badgers bends around to form a neat circle, a halo around the head of Trinity Tower’s lengthening shadow.

Two young boy badgers in matching black corduroy and bowler hats step from the circle and move to the head of the casket. It’s Hoth and Sollust, Yavin’s nephews. They carefully unclip the top half of the lid, and then move to stand on either side of the coffin, so that one can lift the lid and the other lower it to the ground on the other side. A low murmur moves through the badgers.

The General lies in state.

Abbey steps forward.

Friends, she smiles, extending her arms, welcome. Today, we are a gathering of peoples, united in our love and respect for a grand old traveller.

A snuffling and growling approval finds voice for a moment.

I met The General in his final days, and was moved by his love for his extended family.

Abbey looks down momentarily to glance at her prompt cards. She knows they are inadequate. As her gaze drops, she spies a short figure at her side, a girl-cub. She’s a pretty little thing, dressed for the day in her best white summer dress with pink bows at the hem. A matching bow is clipped into her hair.

I know instinctively that this is Dantoo, Yavin’s niece. I’ve never met her, though of course I know her twin brothers from many adventures. The girl gazes upwards, her two-tone face calm and reassuring, and gently takes Abbey’s hand.

Abbey shakes her head, as if waking. And says simply, in a happily surprised tone,

Oh!

The prompt cards scatter to the breeze and Abbey begins to speak. Her voice is confident and sad.

She speaks into the heart of all of us, as only a badger can.

Who knows where life may lead?

Who knows the turnings of the unity?

Great grandfather, you knew neither
  And were all the greater for it

Your pawprints, broad and sharp
  Have left their mark
In five decades, far spread
  Three more than any clanborn

You chose and led
  Risked fail and fall
  Without hesitation
And lost contentment at your rest
  For your portion of others’ deeds

You did not mark the day
  Our friend the stranger came
With tales and questions
  Proof and faith

You tunnelled from a barren life
  And shared his broken journey
Giving love and life
  To an era meant for other eyes

And time passed, happily
  But for dreams of Trinity

In fading light of your long day
  All friends heard your whisper
  From across Time
And hastened to your side

Risking much
  But fearing none
To stand barefoot
  With your kin, none closer

To help you on the final mile
  Of this Long Road Home

And stand, their hearts and faces warm
  As your ashes yet not your shadow
  Are scattered by the wind of change
  You laboured to create

And then return
  Their promise kept
To dream their boundless dreams
  Within earshot of your roar
In the world you shaped

I met you for a single day
  And wished for just one more

Goodbye, great grandfather
Rest, forgiven
Rest, loved

We smile in the knowing of all deeds

And neither regret nor forget


The silence is absolute.

Abbey kneels to meet Dantoo’s gaze. The young badger plants a kiss on my neighbour’s nose and throws her short furry arms around her neck as a hoarse roar erupts from the crowd.

You’re welcome.

As the sun draws towards the horizon, the growling cheers and applause surround Abbey and the young girl-cub, and ring long and loud.


6 - Oppenheimer

The coffin is laid and covered efficiently.

In a few minutes, it's as if it was never there; no flowers, no gravestone. Just memories.

As the assembly scatters and gathers into smaller pockets, all formalities complete, the playful young badgers set about their "uncle" King, determined to wrestle the tall lion to the ground. It takes five of them, including Hoth and Sollust, and there’s a shriek of giggles and a delighted leonine laugh as the Goliath finally falls to the horde of tugging, growling Davids.

I spy Oppenheimer and 'Difficult shaking hands. I half expect them to be talking shop, but instead I overhear my friend thanking the lanky physicist for his help with the military. The physicist is deflecting the praise affably.

Not at all, Mr. Difficult. Thank you, Sir! My presence today has meant a very great deal to me. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Tomorrow's detonation is just the beginning.

My friend winks at him. Oh, how right you are, Doctor. Good luck.

The physicist nods uncertainly, and turns towards the tower to tend the steel baby that he’ll deliver in the morning. But he starts with surprise, finding Elliot in his path. Oppenheimer smiles pleasantly and tries valiantly to not look nervous in the face of such an enormous concept. He doesn’t quite manage it. The elephant removes his sunglasses and regards him curiously.

Before you go, Dr. Oppenheimer, I’ve been meaning to ask you… why did you call this test Trinity?

Oppenheimer pauses, and shares a sly and fleeting smile as a pat answer trips to his lips. But then he reconsiders and frowns.

It’s simple, really. He shrugs. This thing we’re doing puts the fear of God up me.

Elliot laughs darkly. Thank you, Doctor. That’s more honest that the answers you give in the future.

Again, uncertainty crosses the physicist’s face. He nods vaguely, and moves to step round the Agent, but then hesitates as his curiosity gets the better of him. Standing tall, he waves to indicate the elephant’s physique, his species perhaps.

Are there many like you in the future, Agent Nesh?

Elliot shrugs noncommittally.

Some. Fewer than you might think. But we’re everywhere. He inclines his head slightly, Why do you ask?

Well, it’s silly, I suppose. He looks skyward for a moment, perhaps nervous, perhaps contemplative. It’s just that you bring to mind an image of Lord Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu god.

Elliot’s smiles indulgently; he gets this a lot. By way of a reply, he leans closer to tap the doctor gently on the chest.

And you, my dear Doctor, he deadpans, remind me of the Hindu god Shiva. The Destroyer of Worlds.

The physicist pales, and after a few shocked seconds he hurries away without another word.

In the future, he’ll lie about that one too.


7 - The Fat Man Sings

We’re standing by the pyramid.

It’s 5:20am on July 16th 1943, and the sun is low in a gold, rose and indigo sky. It’s been a long night, but we had a lot of folk to move to a safer distance, and for once we were determined not to hurry. There’s been dignity and good manners.

I’m standing with Elliot, discussing the sunrise, when a thought occurs to me.

By the way, I heard what Oppenheimer said to you last night. Isn’t Lord Ganesha also known as the Remover of Obstacles?

Agent Nesh chuckles and scratches a tusk absently. Yes Indigo, he is. The things you know always surprise me. But then he leans in conspiratorially to mutter, Anyone would think that was a coincidence.

This glorious life is never dull.

Shall we do this now? We turn. It’s iDifficult, a resigned look on his face. Reaching into a pocket, he tosses Elliot a ball of string. We have a few minutes.

Elliot catches the string and pockets it. Yes, of course. Let’s do this by the book. He draws his arm from a pocket, revealing several feet of string that is already tied around his gnarly grey wrist. Mr. Roth, would you do the honours?

I look to 'Difficult, uncertain, but he nods encouragingly and presents his own hand.

It’s the work of a moment to tie the knot around my friend’s wrist.

The two stand, entangled again in the early morning light, their roles restored: an Agent and his assignment. Elliot’s voice is equally official.

Mr. Difficult, I have accompanied you to an off-limit historical event and observed your actions. Protocol dictates that I take you in for further questioning. That said, he reaches into a pocket and produces a short fruit knife. And with a flick of his wrist, he severs the string. However, I have determined that your actions are not of interest to The Agency. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. You’re free to go.

The part-time evil genius stands, somewhat agog. He’s not alone.

To hell with protocol. You two are my kind of Rule breakers.

Good grief, this noble elephant is a bag of tricks. I thought I’d be eating pizza solo while 'Difficult serves five to ten, with time off for less-eccentric behaviour.

Will there be consequences for you, Elliot?

Elliot shrugs. There are always consequences, my friend. He wiggles his wrist and the severed string dances. But I can safely tied up this loose end. Donning his pince nez sunglasses again, he adds darkly, In Red Tape, for years if necessary.

We all sense it’s time to change the subject.

You know, says 'Difficult conversationally, I always thought that your string was some kind of five-dimensional metaphor?

The Agent smiles and shakes his head.

No. It’s just a piece of string.

I’m distracted by a gentle-but-insistent tugging at my knee. Looking down, I find a wide-eyed Dantoo gazing up at me in the early morning light. The young badger regards me with startling maturity; she’s probably not yet two. But she’s still a child. Raising her paws skyward, her look is not imploring, but its meaning is clear. I reach down and pick her up, gathering the end of her dress in neatly, and cradle her easily in one arm. She nuzzles gratefully into my shoulder.

There’s a smell of dirt and loss and bubblegum perfume.

My cheeks feel damp.

Folks? It’s time. My best friend is moving through the crowd, smiling reassuringly. And it’s okay to look. The shields will dampen all the hard light.

There’s movement all around. After a few seconds, I’m aware that 'Difficult is to my left, and Elliot to my right. Abbey wanders in closer and fusses over Dantoo briefly before settling at my side. Bear and King are reassuring presences to our rear. Badgers gather around us all, and Yavin stands stoically in front on me. I pat his shoulder and briefly feel a damp paw as it brushes my hand.

We look to the east and say goodbye.

After an endless moment of calm that we all feel, it begins.

And for the second time that day, the sun rises.




That's yer lot! Thanks for reading, Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011/2012

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Interlude: An Equation For String

For some reason, Part Two of Elliot’s backstory seems to have folk stirred up. There were adoring sighs from the public gallery, several enquiries about his relationship status, and at least one offer of marriage.

Which, frankly, is more interest than I’ve seen in many a year.

But Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have A Star on our hands.

So, while you're waiting for the next chapter of THE CEPHALOPOCALYPSE, here’s another slice of the lad’s history. And mine. And yours.

Yes, yours. You just don’t realise it yet.



The Long Road Home - Part 3

As I open the door of the car, the city howls of its cold, wet misery.

The rain is heavy, the clouds low and dark. Stepping out of the taxi into the downpour, my trunk automatically tucks inside the folds of my coat, and my ears fold forward to keep the water out. I turn to pay the driver, who eyes me fearfully. I mumble an apology for the bodies in the back seat and tip him a twenty. He drives away without comment, pleased to be gone.

I rarely visit Central, and I’ve brought bad weather with me. This draws a wry smile from me, or as close to one as I come without bourbon. Most days, this is a sunlit, teeming, cheery metropolis; in fact, this entire Reality is. The privileged folk who live here know no better, and rarely experience worse.

But not today. Today, the shining city at the hub of existence nods its head as an agent passes through its streets.

My name is Elliot Nesh. I work for The Agency. The Unity Agency.

Flipping the collar of the trenchcoat up, I turn my gaze skyward, my back to the rain. My destination is a looming art deco tower of some thirty storeys. A single light burns in its windows today, high up in the topmost floor; even the gods need light to read. The building broods darkly under sullen clouds, and offers no explanation.

I square the trilby on my broad head and cross the street to the lobby of the tower, seeking answers.

The skinny young clerk on the main desk lifts the phone and quietly says a few words to someone as I approach him. Replacing the receiver, he gives me a nervous smile. I enjoy his discomfort; they won’t get many biped elephants in here. Sometimes discomfort is all I have to work with, and even the short days can be long and hard. I hold his eye and idly flick the raindrops from my ears onto the desk. He doesn’t look down.

I raise an eyebrow, inviting him to get a move on. The spell broken, he jerks back into life and, producing a key, he steps away to the side of the desk, and hastily fumbles open the black baroque doors of what looks like an executive elevator.

Removing my hat, I manoeuvre under the doorframe of the elevator and turn to face the lobby. The interior is burnished gold rococo panelling. I really don’t like confined spaces, but I offer no sign of it as I replace my trilby and stand impassively. The clerk reaches inside to jab the button for the penthouse, and then retreats, slamming shut the doors of this wrought iron coffin.

As the tiny box lurches into upward life, I sigh and gather my thoughts, closing my eyes to blot out the claustrophobia as best I can. Okay, back to basics. Why am I here?

I’m here representing the Unity Agency.

Back in the day, The Agency was called the Department of Dimensions, but the science has moved on. Now each separate bundle of four dimensions – the three spatial ones and time – is called a Reality. Universes? The Multiverse? Old hat. We now understand that there are eleven dimensions, a mathematically elegant container for the numerous Realities that we now refer to as The Unity.

The Unity is run from Central. Though The Board Of Directors would say that it was overseen or moderated or something similarly bland and corporate. And probably under advisement.

And it is them that I’m here to see; The Board. Or rather, they’ve summoned me. I’m not accountable to them directly, but somewhere up the slippery pole they pull the strings.

This elevator must be unsettling me; I rarely mix my metaphors like that, even in a voiceover.

With an juddering clank, the elevator stops. By contrast, the outer doors swing open soundlessly.

I step from the elevator into a dimly lit boardroom. An oval table, and sixteen faces. All male, all well groomed, all with the hawkish look of men with Money. The Board promotes itself as benefactors, as a non-profit governing body. But as an outsider, I know you don’t get onto it by being talented or qualified.

 Ah, Mr. Nesh. We’ve been expecting you.

The voice is steady, stern, authoritarian. It’s recognisably voice Number 7, The Headmaster. I can see his half-moon spectacles before I even focus on the speaker, and know instinctively that it will be the Chairman, Cecil Rhodes Armitage. Is he testing the water with me? He’s wasting his time if he is; agents don’t ruffle, and have little truck with authority. No, it’s more likely for the benefit of his colleagues, a show of strength.

He’ll probably try Number 5 next; The Public Servant.

Good morning, Gentlemen, I slowly scan across the gathered men; most meet my gaze with a mixture of mistrust and curiosity. I seem to have brought bad weather with me.

I stand, my hands thrust deep into my pockets, dripping on the immaculate carpet. They pretend not to notice and I don’t pretend to care. The Chairman smiles.

And we thank you for coming on such a dreadful day, Mr. Nesh, says the Chairman, switching to Public Servant. We were expecting two of our colleagues to be with you, he says, his delivery speckled with faux concern. I hope they didn’t get lost on the way here? He chuckles, but nobody joins him; this is not humour.

I offer my own smile, just as false. The two heavies who woke me up at Roth’s place were hired help, the usual combination of over-developed necks and shiny ID badges. I accompanied them on the jump to Central to save me the five-dimensional calculation while half asleep, but I went solo soon after; their IDs were the toughest thing about them.

Not at all. We parted company in the taxi. I shrug and offer an affable, I explained to them that I knew the way to the Boardroom. I’ve met with so many of your predecessors, after all. I let this thought settle on their shoulders. A few of them shift uncomfortably and exchange glances.

I love the smell of fear in the morning.

The chairman frowns subtly and decides to move the conversation along; I’m gently denting his authority. He shift to voice Number 2, Efficient Executive. I suspect it’s as close to his real persona as he gets without baring his teeth. Or selling his grandmother.

Mr. Nesh, I’ll come to the point. We Audit a great number of Realities here at Central. Heh. Audit. I grin lopsidedly. And it’s one of our many tasks to Rationalise them when we can.

Rationalise, Mr. Chairman? I know exactly what he means, but I have no patience for corporate double-talk, especially when it hides destructive behaviour. These are the kinds of men who put military advisors into Vietnam. I wonder idly how he’ll respond.

Yes, Mr. Nesh, he says coldly and clearly. Rationalise. We combine Realities when we can. He rises unexpectedly from his chair and leans toward me, hands on the table. Or just plain get rid of them if they are no longer needed.

The plain speech of a sociopath in authority. I give the man some respect.

And I suddenly realise why I’m here. Why they need me.

Mr. Nesh, we believe that the Reality spawned by an individual called... he consults his notes unnecessarily, Indigo Roth can be removed. He almost spits the name. Clearly he doesn’t approve of the antics of Roth and his friends. He probably has something against badgers.

You want to kill off Roth’s Reality? I pause and shrug, the very picture of bemusement. But why? It's unusual for someone to create a Reality through words, true enough, but his writing is harmless enough. Some funny stories, some colourful characters. Lions and Badgers and Bears, Oh My! I raise my heavy eyebrows in Garland-esque surprise, and enjoy watching the assembled execs shake their heads in worried dismay.

The wing-man to the Chairman’s right stands angrily. I recognise him as the third-in-command, a nasty weasel-of-a-man called Joshua Cane. Now see here, Mr. Nesh, he blusters, The Board considers that kind of comment to be unprofessional. Your levity in this matter is most unwelcome!

I scratch my trunk and flick my ears to hide a laugh. I’ve never seen The Board so skittish before. The Chairman gestures Cane back to his seat.

Realities are a precious resource, Mr. Nesh. They are supposed to important. Roth's is not. He waves a hand, We intend to remove it, and we shall.

What about the people that live in this reality?

Well, they weren't there before Roth somehow split his Reality off, and they won't be there after. It's Armitage's number two, a well-groomed young fella called Sebastian Drake. He licks his lizard lips and smiles. It's what we call a zero-sum deal.

I want to punch him. But no. Not here, not now.

Which leaves the sixty-four-thousand dollar question.

So why am I here, Gentlemen? How may The Agency assist you? More shuffling and mumbling results in the ranks from that. I’m not just some rogue bull elephant with big ears and a drink problem. I’m an Agent, with a capital ‘A’.

Because we are told by our... advisors, the Chairman smiles ruefully – he almost said spies, I’m sure – that you have an ongoing case that is blocking our closure of Mr. Roth’s Reality.

And there it is. Their problem.

Oh, you mean the investigation of Roth’s friend iDifficult as a Potential Criminal! I wait for their response, but none is forthcoming. We’re straying into uncomfortable territory - Temporal Causality and Consequence. I wonder how long I can keep us here. Yes, that’s true. While we’re investigating Mr. Difficult, it’s not possible to kill off the Reality he inhabits.

What? Wait a minute, dammit! blurts a fella to the left of the group. Young, stocky, bad teeth. Ah yes. Jeffrey Pinkerton-Smythe; never the sharpest tool. Did you say Potential criminal? Dammit man, what the devil does that mean?

Some of The Board lean in, keen to hear my exposition, and relieved that they have a scapegoat to hang their ignorance on. I clear my throat.

Well, Mr. Difficult is a renowned inventor, quite brilliant in fact. He's well ahead of the curve in his Reality with regards to trans-dimensional travel. The Chairman sips at a glass of water while his colleagues stare blankly at me. I cut them some slack. Mr. Difficult invented a time machine. They seem to relax, apparently understanding that much. The schmucks.

The Agency became aware that, using this time machine, Mr. Difficult will at some point visit an off-limit event. I pause for effect, and lightning flashes past the window, perfectly timed. I give the next sentence some timbre. A hugely important event in human history!

Well, what event? And why don’t you just go there and stop him?! demands Pinkerton-Smythe. I chuckle.

Because. It’s. Off. Limits.

This patronage does not sit well with the young man, who rises from his chair in anger. He turns to the Chairman, incredulous. Cecil, surely we don’t need to listen to the fairytales of this fella?! He stabs a finger at me repeatedly, searching for an expression. He’s just a bloody elephant!

Armitage ignores him, and there’s much sucking of teeth from the rest of The Board; they know this is bad form. The Chairman casts me a genuinely apologetic glance. I nod without a word; I appreciate good manners, even in bad guys. Perhaps you might tell us what this event is, Mr. Nesh, he says quietly.

So I tell them.

Afterwards, they sit quietly for some time, worried and somewhat stunned. Even Pinkerton-Smythe falls silent. I fill in the rest of the tale while I have their attention.

We were unsure of the reason for Mr. Difficult’s visit to this event, but were obviously concerned. Potentially he intends to commit a crime, but we couldn’t be sure. I think ahead, discarding unnecessary parts of the tale that might raise awkward questions. And while we knew the destination of his time trip, we were in the dark about its starting point. So, I was assigned to be with Mr. Difficult for all journeys through time. Indefinitely, until he makes that one trip.

And how will that help? says a random guy on the left of the table, keen to add some value to these proceedings.

If I accompany him, I can watch the events unfold and discern his intentions. I put it in terms they'll grasp. You might consider me a Pre-Offence Parole Officer.

It's time for some sleight of hand. While they're thinking.

Until this matter is resolved, I've attached myself to him with this.

Removing my hand from my pocket, I reveal a length of string, tied around my chunky wrist. I carefully leave the other end inside my pocket; I tied it in the taxi, but they don’t know that.

A length of string? says a chap on the right-hand side of the table. I don’t recognise him; he must be new.

Yes, string. But the string is a metaphor. A five dimensional metaphor. He stares blankly at me. Moving between four-dimensional Realities that share a common starting point - what old-timers still call Parallel Dimensions - requires fifth dimensional travel.

I give him my best Joe Friday.

And that’s what I do for a living. That’s what The Agency does.

Ah, I see, says the man. I don’t need my lie-detector spectacles to realise that this rube has no clue what I’m talking about. Yes, five dimensions. A metaphor. Quite. He looks distant for a moment, trying to think of another question that does not sound foolish. And is this string tied to Mr. Difficult right now?

This raises a snort or two. Which is a shame, as it’s actually a very good question.

Yes, metaphorically speaking, I lie.

I wish it was tied to 'Difficult; I’d be with the pair of them. Damn Roth and his plate of buns! I should have been with them!

Must be a damned long piece of string!

You begin to see the problem.

Pinkerton-Smythe giggles to himself, then offers up sarcastically, But just how long is a piece of string, Mr. Nesh?

I eye him coldly, and speak automatically.

Twice the distance from its midpoint to either of its ends. His grin fades and vanishes as he considers that. It’s a meaningless expression of algebra, but it’s correct. I pick up pace.

And this metaphor is at the heart of your problem, Gentlemen. I’m lying past my tusks, of course, relying on their fear and ignorance. I’m not from Roth’s Reality, so this string - this metaphor - forges a link between two Realities. Until we get to the bottom of Mr. Difficult’s actions, the string must remain tied, and the Realities linked.

The Chairman, silent for some time, absorbing and assessing, finally speaks.

Well, we have the authority to cut the string and close Roth’s reality, of course, he muses, but then says with more teeth, This is Central after all.

My reply is flat; I have no time for this kind of elitism. There is nothing unique or original about this Reality, Mr. Chairman. It’s only Central because you say it is. Like all smart leaders, Armitage recognises the truth when he hears it, but is under no obligation to assimilate it into his belief system. He frowns, perhaps wondering if he’s lost this battle. Still, he’s creative.

But what would happen if we cut the string, Mr. Nesh? He’s accidentally slipped into voice Number 8, Curious Layman.

I was hoping this one wouldn’t come up, and have to lie again. I'm not giving up on this assignment easily. I hate the idea of letting these Suits pull the plug on something they don't understand. Besides, I want to know what 'Difficult is up to. Call it professional curiosity.

Well, the mathematics is complex and unpredictable... I seem to reflect, sounding as honest as I can, but in Layman’s terms? It's now Armitage's turn to nod with quiet respect my way. Bad. Things.

Outside, thunder rumbles and clouds roil.

Inside, fifteen men hang on the next words of their leader.

He seems to reach a decision.

Well then, Mr. Nesh, he says, returning to Number 2 voice, it seems we have nothing more to discuss. For now. We regard each other levelly. The Board wishes you a speedy conclusion to this matter. You will, of course, keep us appraised of your progress?

I shan’t forget.

The Chairman laughs, and I don’t care for it.

Mr. Nesh, given your species, have you ever forgotten anything?

No, I lie.

It’s a myth, and like all good myths, it’s useful. I may need to rely on a few of them when I get back from this trip.

A trip to an off-limit event.

Without a word, I descend in the lift and head out stoically into the howling misery of the City.


To be Concluded in Dreams Of Trinity


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011/2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Elephants Abhor A Vacuum

Okay, while we're waiting for part two of THE CEPHALOPOCALYPSE, shall we have a little more of Elliot's backstory that we started yesterday?

Click here if you missed that. (Or if you just want to look at the cool badger picture again. Its okay, I get it.)

By the way, there's a link to Abbey's very first appearance about half way down, should you feel so inclined. Oh, all right, all right! Here it is.

Anyway. Are we sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.



The Long Road Home - Part 2

Time can be sliced in many ways.

If our paydays mark the passage of each month, and the church bells on Sunday morning cleave one week from the next*, then it is our meals that punctuate our days.

[* While annoying the hell out of us.]

It’s Sunday morning. I’m having a spot of brunch with my best friend iDifficult. My lounge is alive with delicious smells, both sweet and savoury. It’s all courtesy of my lovely neighbour Abbey, who dropped in some warm baked treats for us on her way to church. She knows we’re non-denominational, but respects our belief systems, which include plenty of tasty grub.

Packed with nature's goodness.
Man, I groan delightedly, this nutty, caramelly, oaty thing is awesome! I’m forced to catching a shower of delicate, gooey crumbs as my enthusiasm gets ahead of me. How’s yours?

The part-time evil genius grunts appreciatively and grins broadly, Gorgeous, though I have no idea what it is! He then contemplates his confection seriously. You remember that Winston Churchill described Russia as a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma? I nod as I eat. Well, this little treat is a riddle, inside a mystery, wrapped in... he eyes it speculatively, well, wrapped in flaky pastry.

I chuckle and take a slug of my tea. I raise my cup.

To Abbey!

To Abbey! Wiping his lips with a napkin, ‘Difficult regards me curiously. Talking of whom, did you get to the bottom of that business with Abbey and the badgers?

I clear my throat and try to think of a sensible answer.

It’s hard. It’s been that kind of week.

It’s Wednesday morning. I’m puzzled that Abbey seems to know a lot more about the history of the resident badgers than I do; apparently, she’s been sharing stories with Yavin, their Chief Engineer. I’ve had many adventures with them, but rely on body language rather than spoken words. It works well, but means that while I know plenty about the present, I know precious little about the past.

The badgers’ sett is dim and musty. Books line the walls of this room, on everything from engineering to metaphysics. The latter is unusual reading for badgers, but we’re taking tea with the legendary ex-military scientist and freemason known only as The General. This venerable badger also happens to be Yavin’s grandfather.

The General sits resplendent in a smoking jacket, monacle and fez, with a gently wisping cigar in his ageing paw. He was born in 1933, which makes no sense. Badgers live fifteen years typically, and even though Yavin’s family come from tenacious stock, it doesn’t add up. I have so many questions.

Abbey sits between us, holding our hands, and helps us to... talk? I’m unsure. We’ve been here an hour, and while I know a lot more now than I did, but can’t really remember any actual words being exchanged.

Back in the now, my friend shifts in his seat, perhaps pondering my silence. Because I know she’s good with energy flows. So I figured she’d have some... he waves a hand speculatively, spiritual way of talking to them. He slurps his tea. Or something.

I smile and shrug. Yes. Well... yes. That’s pretty much it. Nodding without comment, ‘Difficult helps himself to an amaretto-laced über-éclair.

Curiousity, sparked by my meeting with the elder badger, gets the better of me. And this General fella, a lovely old boy, is quite a character. More nods amidst the chocolate and cream. He must be one hell of an age by now?

The éclair is replaced quietly on the table, and ‘Difficult thinks for a moment before preparing to speak.

The moment is interrupted by a knock at the front door.

A heavy, meaningful knock that does not repeat.

Hold that thought, I say as I head through to the vanilla-scented hall. It’s oddly dim out here. No light from the front door; I must have a large visitor. Ah yes. Elliot.

Opening the door, I behold a broad and eclipsing elephant in a trenchcoat. He stands proud on two legs and surveys the scene with an expert, jaded eye. I can almost hear a film noir voiceover. He brushes the brim of his trilby hat with a digit of a giant forefoot.

Mr. Roth.

Elliot Nesh is an agent of some unknown Department. He’s also iDifficult’s parole officer, though my friend claims to have no knowledge of his supposed crime. And I believe him. Why wouldn’t I? Besides, it’s a mystery, and we enjoy those.

Another puzzle is Elliot’s jurisdiction. It’s a total unknown, though we’re fairly sure he’s not from round here. All I know is that this elephant shows up whenever we’re about to embark on a time travel adventure, and then ties himself for the duration of the jaunt to ‘Difficult with a length of string.

Again, this doesn’t make sense, but so little does at first glance.

Today, I am not surprised to find Elliot on my doorstep.

Hey matey, nice to see you. Please, I step aside with a welcoming gesture, come in, come in.

As the elephant nods and strides into my hallway, I notice that he’s carrying a small ball of string. I wonder idly if I should fetch my toothbrush.

In the lounge, iDifficult rises in greeting, looking shifty. I assume momentarily that Elliot’s arrival has put him on the defensive, but then I spot that most of the cakes are gone. My friend waves sheepishly and smiles past a mouthful of choux pastry and almonds.

The parole office regards his ward amiably, but gets straight down to business.

Mr. Difficult, are you planning on making a trip today? The agent dons a pair of dark, round-lensed pince-nez spectacles. They seem unnecessary indoors, but who knows what goes through the mind of an elephant? As he patiently waits for an answer, he deftly adjusts the edge of one frame, as if he’s focusing a microscope. Finally swallowing, ‘Difficult looks genuinely surprised.

A time trip? No. Should I be?

The elephant fiddles with his glasses again. You’re sure?

Yes, certain. He looks to me and back to Elliot; no help there. Eager to move things along, ‘Difficult picks up the near-empty plate from the table and offers it to the agent. Cake?

Elliot sighs and removes his glasses, pocketing them quietly.

No thank you. Too rich for me. Do you have anything... plainer? I know what he has in mind, but we rarely keep sticky buns about the place. Elephants love sticky buns, everyone knows that.

Once again, as my friend starts to answer, there’s another knock at the door. The back door this time, a quiet and persistent rapping. For a moment, ‘Difficult seems to consider something, but then he pops the plate down and offers a simple, I’ll see what we have. Excuse me.

I’m left in the room with the brooding pachyderm. I sit and nibble on another delightful confection, wishing Abbey were here to keep the conversation afloat.

You know, Elliot, we never talk about your work. The elephant raises an eyebrow. For example, you accompany us on all out trips because of something ‘Difficult has done, though I’ve no idea what it is.

Elliot shifts uncomfortably, but I resist the urge to keep talking; I wait, and hope that he will fill the vacuum. Elephants abhor a vacuum. Or is that Nature?

I’m assigned to Mr. Difficult, he confirms quietly, seeming to consider his words carefully, but he’s done nothing wrong.

What? But then, the punchline.

Yet.

I’m lost for words. The puzzle pieces in my head scatter randomly. What does that mean? What exactly is Elliot’s job?

My train of thought is derailed by iDifficult’s return. He’s bearing a plate of warm buns and an easygoing smile. The buns are fresh and sticky and smell amazing. Elliot’s trunk and ears twitch. He says nothing, but his gaze is held by the contents of the plate.

These are fresh from the oven, says my genius amigo conversationally, and I think they’ll be more to your taste.

Well, I really shouldn’t, mutters Elliot, I’m on duty after all. He inhales deeply; this must be excruciating for him. Perhaps just one.

A few minutes later, the plate is empty, and Elliot is asleep. The ball of string sits between his legs, lightly dusted in crumbs.

I click my fingers in front of the dozing elephant’s closed eyes. Did you drug him? My friend lifts the ball of string from Elliot's chair and pockets it. When he replies, his mind is clearly distracted and racing.

Hmmm? No. Not at all. He always falls asleep right after a good meal. This is true. We’ve carried him home from the curry house on many occasions, though I had assumed it was the bourbon.

And anyway, where did the buns come from?

Yavin brought them over. I asked him to bring some fresh buns when a particular event finally happened. And, unexpectedly, it’s just happened. He’s firing up the time machine as we speak. I have no time to query this before ‘Difficult continues, his voice alive with new purpose. Right. We need to get moving.

What, now? Where are we going?

I’ll explain on the way. I open my mouth again, but he quietens me with a raised finger. I need you to go and fetch Abbey, before Elliot wakes up. We need a head-start.

A head start? In a time machine?!

His laugh reminds me of old times, and raises a smile in me, but I have a gnawing feeling that this will a very different kind of adventure.

Time can be sliced in many ways, but today?

Well, today I think we’re cutting it fine.


TO BE CONTINUED in Interlude: An Equation For String.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011/2012

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Shower Of Gravelly Memories

Questions have been asked in The House, and it's understandable.

After part one of THE CEPHALOPOCALYPSE over the weekend, many newer visitors were puzzled about who Elliot is, and about his history with the-arch-genius-formerly-known-as-iDifficult and myself.

For example, a rough-looking street urchin accosted me today. Oi Roth, you big numpty! he said, What's the story with that bleedin' elephant?

The short answer is that he first properly appeared in A DISCONCERTING LITTLE TUNE, closely followed by the forgotten gem EYEING A BEER SUSPICIOUSLY.

But after those, he shot to stardom in three of the four parts of the epic THE LONG ROAD HOME, which you can read here over the few days.

He's not in part one, but there's an awesome picture.

And Abbey. You're welcome.

Let's begin, shall we?



The Long Road Home - Part 1

The past is beneath our feet.

It's Wednesday morning, and a sunny one at that. I'm having a healthy breakfast* in my kitchen-diner by the big back window. I have a day off work, and I'm lazily making the most of it.

I feel like a cat, basking in the sunshine.

[* And when I say healthy, I mean meagre and uninteresting. Muesli.]

As I munch another resistant mouthful, I notice my neighbour Abbey heading down the early-Spring garden. I smile as I take in her tousled red hair, her jaunty - almost skipping - step, the big smile, and the ever-bare feet. Pretty without pretense, this thirty-something lady is literally the girl-next-door. I'm not sure why she's in my garden, but it doesn't matter; she's welcome there, and I'm pleased to see her.

I knock on the window and as she turns her smile somehow gets wider. I wave her inside, and notice that she's carrying something small and square. I wipe the last spot of milk from my lips with a napkin.

Morning, neighbour! she beams as she breezes through the back door, the lightest of giggles bubbling through her words. I brought something to show you! Her sunflower scent has brought the Spring indoors.

She quietly pops a framed photograph on the table in front of me.

If these guys ever get into the main Lodges, they'd rule the world.
Isn't it amazing?!

It certainly is. A badger Freemason! And a very senior one, by the look of him. A memory shifts slightly. He's an important chap, too. The heavy chain of office, the ornate leather apron, the arm braces and gloves... if I had to guess, I'd say he was a Lodge Grand Master. My neighbour looks at me curiously. I laugh, realising her assumption. Oh, I'm not "On The Square". My dear old Uncle Jericho was highly placed in one of the American lodges. And talked a lot.

Our attention returns to the ageing photo. I can't help but laugh again; I love the moustache, monocle and top hat.

But a Grand Master?! He's a badger! I'm sure she's teasing me; she's been living here long enough to know how remarkable they are. And the memory shifts in my head again.

Well, Masonry is traditionally about craftsmanship, I note mildly, and these guys can build anything. Especially underground.

Like, say... tunnels? Abbey is now behind me, and now her tone is definitely teasing. Her tone jostles the thought again, and it suddenly tumbles free in a shower of gravelly memories.

Yes, tunnels! He's from the Grand Lodge of Tunnellers! Jericho told me about them when I was a kid. They're a smaller Lodge, but held in high esteem by the Brotherhood. My mouth moves silently. My jaw drops. Good grief, is this The General?!

She cheers and whistles, then hugs me. Yes, exactly! It's The General, the first Grand Master of his Lodge. He has no other name that anyone knows about, and was one of the first badgers to work above ground. With people, I mean. Did you know he was actually a scientist by profession? I shake my head in amazement; the story is intriguing. But that's a story for another day. This photo was taken in 1953.

Incredible. A moment in history, a legendary figure, still with us through this simple photograph.

A new thought nudges me.

So Abbey, I frown, puzzled, how do you know all this, exactly?

Oh, she shrugs, Yavin shared what he knew with me. There's a slightly evasive quality to the words, and she doesn't quite meet my eye. And I'm still puzzled; I can communicate with Yavin well enough, but the old badger engineer doesn't say much. I wonder about how she had that conversation, but put that thought aside for now.

She's full of mysterious talents, is Abbey.

Well, I suppose he'd know the history of his profession and species as well as anyone.

True, but Yavin knows this bit of history especially well. She meets my eye. The General is Yavin's grandfather.

Wow. I had no idea. Life is full of surprises.

Today, the past really is beneath our feet.

Abbey grins. And he's just moved back to the garden.


TO BE CONTINUED in Elephants Abhor A Vacuum

Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011/2012