Indigo Roth: December 2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

Never To The Hardy Boys

At some point in your life, it's important to have a rock with a note tied to it thrown through your window.

It makes you feel like you've lived.

And when I say lived, I mean been stunned senseless.

Five minutes ago, I'm writing a list. I do this a lot more than I used to; I find if I don't write things down, I forget them. Shopping without a list? Winging a presentation without bullet points? Ordering everything on the menu without a menu? Forget it.

So anyway, I'm writing a list of things to do in 2013. These aren't New Years Resolutions, which are generally things that you're not going to do in the year to come. What I'm doing is writing a list of things I will do during 2013. It's a positive spin thing; I've not spent twenty years in corporate life without learning something.

So far I have decided that I want to:

1) Spend more time with friends. I always mean to, but always end up getting sucked into some escapade or another, or doing selfish solo stuff at home.

2) Take some exercise. I enjoy it, it's good for me, and I usually meet friendly folk while I'm doing it. This may even help number 1 along too?

3) Go on some dates. After six years of being single, I could say it's time to be in a new relationship, but hey - small steps, gently taken. Tho some nice sex would be just dandy. A shocking word for this blog, I know, but it's the truth.

4) Write a book. This is my true goal for 2013, and should really be number one on a list of one. But hey, if I toil away here like a hermit, I'll write crap and have no friends. Numbers 1 to 3 will help this one along. Especially the sex.

Upbeat, I ponder a possible number 5.

There's another goal lurking in my head, but it eludes me. Something important. I was thinking about it only yesterday, but now it's gone. What on earth was it? It's so frustrating to forget things. But that's why I write lists.

Ah well, I'm sure I'll think of it tomorrow.

Something heavy hits the back of my head. And I pass out.

Back in the now, I gently explore the rear of my skull and find no blood; it's tender, and there's a lump. Angrily, I grab the rock from the floor and note the incongruously pretty blue ribbon round it, holding the note in place.

I'm sure that never happened to the Hardy Boys. *

[ * You know, I always wanted them to team up with Nancy Drew and trade clothes with her; The Nancy Boys and Hardy Drew has a certain ring to it. ]

Turning, I see the window is wide open; at least they had the decency to choose a closed one when they delivered their message. Whoever they are.

Peering out, checking left and right, I'm surprised to see myself standing in the bushes to the left of the tree, next to the hedge. Yep, it's definitely me. Suit, tie, hair swept back; looking good. The figure gives me a cheery wave and, without a word, vanishes through the hedge, seemingly without regard for the awesome business clothes.

I stand, rubbing the back of my head, and consider my options. I could pursue myself, but it always gets complicated. Instead, I turn my attention to the note. Tugging the ribbon aside with a fading ember of irritation, I unfold the hand-written message and take it in. It says:

5) Avoid involvement in time travel and the ensuing paradoxes.

It doesn't have the positive spin of the first four, but as I wander downstairs to find an ice-bag for my head, I decide these are words to live by.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I HOPE 2013 IS AWESOME FOR US ALL!

Indigo

Monday, December 24, 2012

I Wish You Snow

Twas the night before Christmas
In his home full of cheer
Roth was adding last touches
And toasting the year

He checked his list carefully
His work was all done
And he sighed with relief, it
Was time for some fun!

The cards they were posted and
The presents all wrapped
There was food in the fridge and
His visits were mapped

In his front room, resplendent
His tree with a star
Which recalled the old tale of
Three wise men afar

As he sat reminiscing
Of true tales he'd told
He remembered all those who
Were out in the cold

So he called on the badgers
And toasted their sett
Then he played them at dice and
He lost ev'ry bet

Roth returned to his house and
He closed his back door
And his ears they were filled with
A welcoming roar

So he popped in on Kingy
The lion upstairs
And they buried the hatchet
Then drew up some chairs

They shared cold cuts of zebra
With cheese, port and bread
And then, both of them weary
They farewelled to bed

As he put on pyjamas
Brushed teeth to both ends
Roth counted his blessings;
Health, family and friends

And so long before midnight
With a hot milk in bed
Roth watched Monty Python
Then slept like the dead

And when Santa came calling
He left them cool things
Three new BluRays for Roth and
Three new ties for King

Then old Santa's eye twinkled
He'd a long way to go
But he'd just time to leave them
A blanket of snow

Twas the night before Christmas
And all round the Earth
Folk were adding last touches
And toasting new birth

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

LET'S RAISE A TOAST TO ALL OF US, SUCH AS WE ARE!

I WISH YOU SNOW!

Indigo

Monday, December 17, 2012

A Change To Scheduled Programming

The future is a wonderful, scary place.

And it's pretty darned big.

I'm on a journey, with some idea where I'm headed.

I'll need some help. This comes to mind:

There's some things you can't find in shops.
There's some things you can't find in books.
There's some things you can't find anywhere.
But somehow we find them in other people.

I hope you'll join me, one and all.

And no, no photo today.

Indigo

Monday, December 03, 2012

Dreaming And Scheming No Longer

Sometimes the best way to tell a story is straight.

But before I get going, may I just say this is good news?

Friday was my final day with my employer.

There have been layoffs in prospect for over three months.

For reasons I'll explain in a moment, I was keen to leave, and told my boss so. Luckily, when it came for the decision to be made, he chose me.

You're remembering this is good news, right? No? Quick, relax with this:

Pacman never looked so good. Better? Okay, I'll continue.

I've been with the company for thirteen years.

When I was laid off, I received a very generous severance deal.

This means that I can take a long sabbatical without worrying about money.

I have time and space and resources behind me.

And so I'm going to write a book.

Called FUNNY BADGERS, it will be a feature-length version of this blog.

Yes, yes, it's all about me; are you surprised?

Plus a lion, a bear, various badgers, Abbey, Eolist and 'Difficult.

Oh, and Elliot.

And a Squiddrel.

There's even a rumour that my agent Ziva will put in a scene-stealing cameo.

As you can imagine, I'm very happy about this.

You’re totally feeling the good news now, right?

I've been distracted of late, and it's puzzled and worried a few.

It's been stressful, waiting for confirmation while dreaming and scheming.

But now the deal is done, I can share it with you without jinxing it.

I wanted you all to be the first to know.

Huge thanks to my sanity throughout this.

Indigo