Okay, so yesterday we got this wobbly hand cart moving. Oh, I know the cart has an odd wheel count, and that the road is rutted and frankly a little too uphill for my taste, but there it is. I’m made of stern stuff.
What’s that, you say? What am I talking about? Okay, come closer. But just so you know, I can’t explain this every day. Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese are running a 28 day writing challenge. It’s not too late to take part, though you should know there’s a petition going round, begging it to stop.
Actually, it’ll be a lot of fun. Really.
Hey, anybody wanna ghost-write me ‘til March?
For example, take me and vertigo. Most sufferers get dizzy and queasy looking down from a high place; from the roof of a building, from a bridge, or from a stack of my visa bills.
But me? I feel just as unsettled standing close to the base of something tall, and looking up. For example, I remember the first time I went on the Humber Bridge; I’m interested in architecture, and walked its impressive length, but when I stopped at one of the uprights and looked up, I felt dizzy and fell over.
But perhaps this is as it should be; vertigo is Latin for “dizziness”, not “fear of heights”. Actually, I’ve always thought of it as an inability to cope with spatial distances; up, down, across, whatever.
Or being a numpty.
One or the other, certainly.
But hey, I’m flexible; I’m not crazy about looking down, either. The less said about my visit to the roof of York Minster, the better; just be glad you weren't there. Unless you had an umbrella.
By comparison, hanging clumsily from the branches of the big old oak tree in my back garden is easy; it’s only ten or twelve feet to the ground; I can make it.
However, the prowling squiddrel below is giving me pause for thought. This vast creature, a genetic hybrid of red squirrel and colossal squid, is notoriously hungry and loves to play with its food. The beast paces in circles, chittering and slavering, paying me meaningful looks occasionally. You know, just in case I somehow forget it's there.
So yeah, I do feel a little queasy looking down, and it would be simple enough for me to drop to the ground and put this vertigo to rest.
But I think I’ll hold on a little longer.
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