* It's Even The Same Colour

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is MAX 6:1-52

Paperback and Kindle:
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This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009-2014

* When Dreaming in Dolby

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is ABBEY 3:1-50

Paperback and Kindle:
Amazon USA, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, Amazon ES, Amazon IT, Amazon JP, Amazon India

Kindle only:
Amazon Brazil, Amazon Mexico, Amazon Australia

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009-2014

More Than Just A Clipshow

All kinds of ideas occurred to me about today's blog entry.

It's my 200th, and I'm pretty damned pleased about it.

Most of the concepts I came up with were flashbacks to earlier entries, and had more than a whiff of me bouncing up and down and shouting, Lookit all this cool stuff I done!

I'm proud of my blog, but it was all rather self-congratulatory.

And it misses the point, which is this:

I blog because I enjoy writing, but without folk reading it, I'd have stopped long ago. So, thank you for reading my blog over the last couple of years; you've made it all possible.


I'll write some more entries soon, and I hope you'll enjoy those too.

Pip pip,

Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

No Distinguishing Features

I've felt recently that life does not contain enough intellectual rigour.

On a typical day, I rarely encounter much that requires me to rub more than a handful of brain cells together. I mean, do I walk to work or drive? Wear blue socks or black? Or order a Mighty Meaty pizza with jalapeños or a Pepperoni Passion with black olives? Or both? *

[* I know, a total no-brainer.]

You see the problem. And it worries me. I don't want to lose my razor-keen mind; I may need it sometime.

Someone suggested that a white jigsaw might be the way to go. Have you seen those? One thousand similar-looking pieces, with no distinguishing features beyond edge pieces? I love jigsaws, have endless patience, and it would be a real brain-tickler of a challenge.

But no, I need more.

As you probably know, I'm an old hand at the Rubik's Cube. What could be more of a challenge than taking The Cube to the next level?

It's my own design, and I can't put it down.

I'm sticking close to the phone in case Parker Brothers call.

---

Captain's Blog - Supplemental

Hi all,

Thanks for reading today's post; you're the best.

My recent numbers have been great, and it's always a pleasure to see that spike in the stats when I post. But I'm curious because, beyond a handful of die-hard regulars who stop by the say hi, I've no idea who any of you are!

If you feel so inclined (and as a one-time thing), why not introduce yourself? You know, who you are, what region you live in, whether you blog, and maybe the first of my entries you read? Or anything else you fancy telling me about.

Just a thought.

Thanks, Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

In Awe Of Barefaced Talent

Putting stuff in pigeonholes is a typical response to discovering anything new.

For example, when I saw two dozen badgers doing a rehearsal of a synchronised dancing and swimming routine in the garden pond, I immediately filed it under New Wave Buzby Berkley.

Shallow of me, I know.

So, when I tell folk how much I like the new album by Turtle Soup, they always ask me what it's like. But despite all my years of pigeonholing things, I never have a clear answer; it's terrific stuff, and hard to categorise.

I'm lucky enough to known the band's singer/songwriter, Fran Morter. Fran collaborates with guitarist Steve Segar to craft the songs, which are introspective and very personal offerings. Husband Roger Morter plays bass, and Phil Edey produces an amazingly versatile percussive sound with a single African Djembe drum. Here they are:

This piccy (L to R: Roger, Fran, Phil, Steve) is one of mine, and sans logo might be used by the band at some point. By the way, the picture is definitely worth a click. Lots of cool detail.

The new album, their second, is called Never Alone. Six tracks, dark and elusive, and very rewarding. And ahead of the album's CD release, the band have decided to make all of the tracks available to listen to; just click here to launch their website.

But can I pigeonhole it, musically? I know you want me to.

Well, I sometimes say it's folky, but less so than their first offering.

And sometimes I say it's alternative, but that's more of a battered bucket than a useful description.

I think the offical music biz line is that it's progressive folk, but the best description I can think of is that it's bloody marvellous!

That gets people's attention. And better yet, it's true.

Go on, check out these lovely talented people! *

[* UPDATE - if you feel so moved, I've been told that you can buy the album as a download from Amazon and iTunes, and that a physical CD release is coming soon. 10% of the proceeds from Never Alone will be donated to The Marine Conservation Society, the UK charity protecting our seas, shores and wildlife.]

Right, the badgers are filming tomorrow, so early to bed.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

The Symmetry Of Eleven

As I flick through the news, I notice that some bright spark of a scientist has been upsetting people by pointing out that classical horoscopes are wrong.

His closer examination of the sky reveals conclusively that there's a thirteen zodiac sign - Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer - and that this means changes to the dates of all the others. Did you see that?

Were I truly interested in my Scorpio heritage and the fact that apparently I'm now a Libra, I might get upset. However, I've been a devout follower of The Elevenfold Zodiac for years. This was cobbled together by myself and iDifficult after a particularly heavy night out. The ale was good and the curry superb. Just when we thought it was all over, the schnapps gave us second wind. And then the curry gave us our third, and we had to evacuate.

When we awoke, we discovered the horoscopic secrets of the universe written in crayon on iDifficult's lounge wall. We considered this an epiphany, and of overriding importance to the world. But that was not accepted as a defence by iDifficult's long-suffering wife, and once again we had to evacuate.

Happy days.

Anyway, to give you a taste, here's today's horoscope.

Elevenfold Zodiac
by Mystic Fred, Week Ending Wed 19 January 2011

	The Cosmic Sock (Jan 2 - Feb 7) Termites in your wooden leg get the day off to a bad start. You may soon feel you're moving in strange circles. Lucky fruit: Kumquat.
	The Rusty Saw (Feb 12 - Mar 15) A flock of seagulls prove once and for all that you really shouldn't wear white before Arbor Day. Or indeed, black. Lucky swelling: Gout.
	The Swing (Mar 19 - April 22) You know, then you don't, then you know, then you don't. Just decide, already! Blueberry muffin, ice cream, or both? Lucky egg: Chocolate ostrich.
	The Traffic Light (April 25 - May 29) The gaping hole in your social life turns out to be a collapsed sewer. Hairy men with buttcracks will knock soon. Lucky soup: Butternut squash.
	The Casserole (June 3 - July 10) Royal matters consume you today, but the Queen Of Sheba is not your friend. I mean, seriously. Think about it. Lucky medium: Watercolour.
	The Stain (July 13 - Aug 15) Time is a great healer, but lousy at removing ground-in treacle. Shock therapy provides relief from an embarrassing itch. Lucky bird: Gooney.
	The Inflated Bladder (Aug 20 - Sept 25) They're somebody else's piranha, perhaps a heartbroken child's. So check the lost and found before keeping them. Lucky celebrity: Topol
	The Stuffed Terrier (Sept 28 - Oct 28) A trip to the great outdoors will inspire you to stay home more. Remember that canned goods last longest. Lucky cake: Raspberry danish.
	The Paint Pot (Nov 01 - Nov 20) As a wise man once observed, liquorice is no substitute for charcoal. Rain will almost certainly stop play. Sorry. Lucky president: Adams.
	The Crowbar (Nov 22 - Dec 27) Violence may be the answer! Be sure to carry your chainsaw for the Zombie Apocalypse descending after lunch. Lucky vein: Hepatic portal.
	The Amoeba (All unlisted dates) You confirm that you're the glue holding the universe together when you end up stuck to an aardvark. Lucky mammal: Not the aardvark.

Some small-minded types have suggested that there is actually a twelfth zodiac sign in this system, and that it was lost to the world because the crayon broke. Even though I can't remember, I'm going to scotch this rumour. I'm not going back to fix it all on a whim of some non-believer; it's just a bit of fun after all.

By the way, we've still not been forgiven by iDifficult's wife for the crayon on the lounge wall.

Nor for the fireworks.

But that's another story.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlefolk

To the tune of God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.*

(* Oh go on, sing it! You know it'll be fun!)


God rest ye merry, gentlefolk!
__Let nothing you dismay!
For Mssrs. Roth and 'Difficult
__Are saving Christmas Day!
They're bending rules and breaking laws
__To make sure all's okay
Great tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
__Great tidings of comfort and joy

It started with a simple note,
__Delivered Christmas Eve
Old Santa's gone, the message said,
__Us elves, we can't believe
There's no-one here to run the show,
__Saint Nick you must retrieve!
Roth, please help us and find the old boy, find the old boy,
__Roth please help us and find the old boy

A task like this was far too big
__For one man to succeed
So Roth called on iDifficult
__And told him of his need
I've just the thing, said 'Difficult,
__To Santa it will lead!
And unveiled a magnificent new toy, to find the old boy,
__Wow, a Santa seeking-missile, what a toy!

They both hopped on and blasted off
__Into the twilight sky
The radar showed no sign of him,
__Both east and west were tried
Then on a hunch, Roth steered them South,
__And then he gave a cry
At the South Pole! That jolly fat old boy! Santa Ahoy!
__In Antarctica, that jolly fat old boy!

They swooped in low, the radar sang,
__And Santa they did spy!
A prisoner of Jack Frost he was,
__With no word of a lie
A cage of ice, with penguin guards,
__A rescue they must try!
Roth just grinned and said that he had a ploy, to save the old boy,
__And hoped 'Difficult had brought all the right toys!

They landed safe just out of sight,
__And rummaged in the hold
A penguin suit, and burlesque clothes,
__A chainsaw and some gold
So Roth got dressed to try the plan,
__In the Antarctic cold
And he knew they would rescue the old boy! With him as decoy!
__Oh, these heroes, they would rescue the old boy!

The penguin guards just gawped at first,
__Could not believe their eyes!
A sexy dancing penguin babe,
__With garters on her thighs!
They rushed at Roth, then fought for dibs
__They wanted the first prize!
Roth just gave them some bump and grind, so coy! What a bad boy!
__As they fought away he tiptoed off, oh boy!

Behind the fray, young 'Difficult
__Freed Santa from the ice
The chainsaw made it easy work,
__He leapt free in a trice!
The penguins had forgotten Roth
__And how he'd looked so nice
So they legged it for 'Difficult's cool toy! Boosters deploy!
__And the trio blasted north upon that toy!

Jack Frost sent off a storm of snow
__And hoped that they'd get stuck
But Santa had some magic left,
__They had no need for luck
I'll get you next year! Frost did scowl,
__And Santa cried, You Schmuck!
And they flew to the North and certain joy! North pole ahoy!
__Roth and Difficult has rescued the old boy!

Their rescue done, they touched right down,
__The elves sent up a cheer!
Forget the milk and cookies lads,
__Said Santa, Who's for beer?
They toasted Life and Love and Friends,
__And Hope for the New Year!
And then Santa delivered worldwide joy! To all girls and boys!
__And great tidings of comfort and joy!


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!


With love,

Indigo, King, Yavin, Hoth, Sollust, Bear, Clarice, and Abbey x

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2010