Thursday, December 22, 2011

Still Managing It Solo

Good grief, there must be something I'd like for Christmas.

I'm sitting at the writing desk in the drawing room, trying to think of things to put on my letter to Santa. It's rather late to send one, but I'm hoping the big man will cut me some slack as we helped him out last year.

But man, I'm stumped.

Socks? Do I need socks? I expect so, I never seem to have any.

Underpants? Hmmm, probably. These ones are developing a hole at the knee.

I write them down and consider my options.

Belief is a marvellous thing
This is always tricky. As a single guy, if I need something, I tend to go and buy it. I realise that this is usually the excuse I hear married couples give as to why they never buy each other things at Christmas. And I'm managing it solo.

Bravo, Roth, you’re an idiot.

I notice that I've misspelled underpants.

Oh, this is hopeless.

Suddenly, an urgent furore outside draws my attention to the front door of the house. Standing, wondering if it's festive carollers, I instead hear the key turn in the lock, and a colossal growling, singing and roaring enters the house. It's clearly not drunken, just happy.

I reach the hallway as the door bursts inwards.

Roooooth! comes the cheering bellow of voices.

It's a horde of my companions. First comes my best friend iDifficult, bearing a tray of steaming mince pies and coffee. Next comes Bear, ducking under the doorframe with a Christmas tree tucked under one arm. Yavin the badger, a deep coil of glittering Christmas lights round his neck, follows behind. The young badgers Hoth and Sollust then hurry in, lugging a heavy bucket of soil into the room between them, placing it in the corner. Finally, King the resident lion and my beautiful neighbour Abbey stroll in, arm in arm, with bags of decorations in their spare hands.

In less than a minute, the tree is planted, and the sparkling lights (that are somehow lit without power) are draped around it. The young badgers quickly decorate the lower tree with baubles, while Abbey and Bear deal with the upper half. And all the time, a wonderful many-voiced melody fills the room.

Silence falls expectantly, and I glance towards the door.

Dantoo, Yavin's youthful niece, in a sparkly red-and-green Christmas dress, shyly steps into view with Bear's girlfriend Clarice. The little lass is bearing a shiny pair of Christmas bells. I give her my best smile, and she runs over to be picked up.

I move us to the tree, and she carefully places the bells at the top.

Everything looks perfect.

The coffee and mince pies are arranged on the table now, and I notice a crate of what looks like ginger fizz has somehow materialised under the table. Hoth and Sollust busy themselves with a bottle opener, and we all raise a cup.

My lifelong friend steps over to me, and pumps my hand enthusiastically.

Happy Christmas, old boy! he grins, and another cheer goes up.

To all of us, such as we are.

So, this is Christmas.

I return my attention to my Christmas letter to Santa on the desk. I fold it carefully, a lopsided grin on my face, and drop it into the bin by the desk.

I don't need to write a letter.

I have everything I need.



Merry Christmas everyone! Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

* Trying Not To Overthink It

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 3 ROTH 3:1-12

Paperback and Kindle:
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This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009-2014

Sunday, December 04, 2011

* But For Our Olympic Coughing

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is EOLIST 4:1-90

Paperback and Kindle:
Amazon USA, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, Amazon ES, Amazon IT, Amazon JP, Amazon India

Kindle only:
Amazon Brazil, Amazon Mexico, Amazon Australia


This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009-2014

Monday, October 31, 2011

None Holds A Candle

If kids come trick-or-treating to your door tonight, be sure to dress properly.

The original and best
And if you're going to watch Halloween before bedtime, may I please press you to John Carpenter's original 1978 classic?

As with many things in life, there are sequels and remakes, but none holds a candle to the original.

Happy Halloween.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

* Less Squinting Of The Eye

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is iDIFFICULT 2:1-30

Paperback and Kindle:
Amazon USA, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, Amazon ES, Amazon IT, Amazon JP, Amazon India

Kindle only:
Amazon Brazil, Amazon Mexico, Amazon Australia


This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009-2014

Friday, October 14, 2011

Indigo 101 Redux

Revised! Updated! Now with Abbey and extra badgers! And video!

Well, it's possible that I may be getting a new visitor or two. If I'd known that you were coming, I'd have baked a cake. Or got dressed.

I've nothing prepared, so here's a quick catch-up on my most popular/favourite blog entries. I've arranged them into a few categories, so you can choose the kind of stuff you like. Ooh, before we get going, I'd best do this:

Dramatis Personae

Indigo Roth - me. Author. Artist. Occasional spy. Frequent fool.
iDifficult/Max - my best friend. Part-time arch-genius. Unhinged.
Yavin - a badger engineer. Lives in the garden. Never speaks.
Abbey - my lovely neighbour. Always shoeless. Spiritually gifted.
Bear - a seven-foot tall black bear. Close friend and conscience.
King - a lion. Lives in my house. Steals my ties. Likes zebras.
Elliot - an elephant. Stoic parole officer assigned to iDifficult.

And just to warm you up, here's a self-portrait I drew for one of the entries below. * (It's worth a click to see detail)

One of my favourite pictures I've drawn. Ever.
My Favourite Stuff (Click a link)
- Thinking Outside The Box
- Rimsky Korsakov And Tonic
- Most Definitely Not Canon
- The Silence Of The Ducks

The Picture's The Thing
- Shaking The Family Tree
- Shoulda Been Armed For Bear
- In Awe Of Barefaced Talent
- Lawn Mowing Avoidance *

Adventures With iDifficult
- Just Like The Real Thing
- A Disconcerting Little Tune
- The Wisdom Of Invertebrates
- Super Rare Holographic Clergy

Lions And Badgers And Bears - Oh My!
- Ignore Any Quiet Knocking
- Sometimes They Even Think
- Taking Turns With Shrugs
- Some Scratching Of Chins
- Comfortable And Undemanding

The Abbey Arc
- Glacial In Its Glow
- It Must Be The Sunflowers
- The Butler Didn't Do It
- Receiving A Bad Grade

Dafter Stuff
- A Simple Flight Of Stairs
- Intervention In Aisle Three
- It All Ends With Jazz Hands
- Views From A Hill

Straighter Stuff
- For Today I Am The Dog
- Passing Into Mental Myth
- Stripped Of Red and Yellow
- Shifting Mental Loose Change

Longer Stuff
- A Shower Of Gravelly Memories
- Always A Cause To Dream
- A Ratchetting Of Vertebrae
- Manners Maketh The Man

Misunderstood
- A Frozen Game Of Patience
- Catching Passes In Traffic
- Season Two Finale

And once you make sense of all that, you might make sense of this:



Thanks for reading!


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2010