Day Five?! Already?! And not a badger in the house washed!
This epic crusade of mine, which some might unkindly characterise as needy and desperate rather than the more obvious daring and ambitious (duh), is off to a great start.
I blame you. In fact, I thank you! Please keep doing what you're doing on Facebook, and Twitter. No, not the spamming and flirting! The sharing! Make me proud and possibly slightly humbler.
Yes, all things are possible.
And A Red Mist Descends
I am about to unblock my bathroom sink.
This is the fourth time I've said this in three days.
I was philosophical on Sunday when it drained sloooowly after I shaved. I only shave once a week, whether I need to or not, so I'm not to blame. It's never been the same since a former tenant at the house threw up in it a couple of years ago. Why he failed to turn 90 degrees and use the toilet is beyond me.
I took it in my stride when a bucketful of bleach and scalding water didn't clear it. It drained all the way through in a few minutes, but there was no real improvement. Mind you, it's only a home-grown solution, one that works on kitchen sinks after you repeatedly and lazily drain your frying pan of its tiny bit of fat after a meal. I've no idea what's blocking this one, but it isn't fat; why would it work?
I gritted my teeth when some chemical gloop I bought from the corner shop on Sunday afternoon failed to shift it. In fact, it just sat there as standing liquid, and didn't clear til after breakfast on Monday. But still, it was an overpriced and under-engineered solution from the local Eight-til-Armageddon; what did I expect? Some proper stuff from the hardware store would shift it.
I was infuriated when an expensive two-liquid solution from the aforementioned hardware store failed to get the job done. Apparently the mixture creates heat and bubbles, and there's tiny bits of sharp metal in it that are supposed to thrash about and deal with the blockage whatever it is.
There were bubbles. There was a nasty chemical smell. But no dice.
The final straw was the gurgling noise it made as the final bit of the solution went down the pipe.
It sounded like laughter. Hollow, mocking, Pennywise-style laughter.
So now, I'm feeling mean.
I've got the tools and I'm ready to finish the job.
Excuse me. I may be some time.
Continue to Day 6 >>
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