Thursday, December 22, 2011

Still Managing It Solo

Good grief, there must be something I'd like for Christmas.

I'm sitting at the writing desk in the drawing room, trying to think of things to put on my letter to Santa. It's rather late to send one, but I'm hoping the big man will cut me some slack as we helped him out last year.

But man, I'm stumped.

Socks? Do I need socks? I expect so, I never seem to have any.

Underpants? Hmmm, probably. These ones are developing a hole at the knee.

I write them down and consider my options.

Belief is a marvellous thing
This is always tricky. As a single guy, if I need something, I tend to go and buy it. I realise that this is usually the excuse I hear married couples give as to why they never buy each other things at Christmas. And I'm managing it solo.

Bravo, Roth, you’re an idiot.

I notice that I've misspelled underpants.

Oh, this is hopeless.

Suddenly, an urgent furore outside draws my attention to the front door of the house. Standing, wondering if it's festive carollers, I instead hear the key turn in the lock, and a colossal growling, singing and roaring enters the house. It's clearly not drunken, just happy.

I reach the hallway as the door bursts inwards.

Roooooth! comes the cheering bellow of voices.

It's a horde of my companions. First comes my best friend iDifficult, bearing a tray of steaming mince pies and coffee. Next comes Bear, ducking under the doorframe with a Christmas tree tucked under one arm. Yavin the badger, a deep coil of glittering Christmas lights round his neck, follows behind. The young badgers Hoth and Sollust then hurry in, lugging a heavy bucket of soil into the room between them, placing it in the corner. Finally, King the resident lion and my beautiful neighbour Abbey stroll in, arm in arm, with bags of decorations in their spare hands.

In less than a minute, the tree is planted, and the sparkling lights (that are somehow lit without power) are draped around it. The young badgers quickly decorate the lower tree with baubles, while Abbey and Bear deal with the upper half. And all the time, a wonderful many-voiced melody fills the room.

Silence falls expectantly, and I glance towards the door.

Dantoo, Yavin's youthful niece, in a sparkly red-and-green Christmas dress, shyly steps into view with Bear's girlfriend Clarice. The little lass is bearing a shiny pair of Christmas bells. I give her my best smile, and she runs over to be picked up.

I move us to the tree, and she carefully places the bells at the top.

Everything looks perfect.

The coffee and mince pies are arranged on the table now, and I notice a crate of what looks like ginger fizz has somehow materialised under the table. Hoth and Sollust busy themselves with a bottle opener, and we all raise a cup.

My lifelong friend steps over to me, and pumps my hand enthusiastically.

Happy Christmas, old boy! he grins, and another cheer goes up.

To all of us, such as we are.

So, this is Christmas.

I return my attention to my Christmas letter to Santa on the desk. I fold it carefully, a lopsided grin on my face, and drop it into the bin by the desk.

I don't need to write a letter.

I have everything I need.



Merry Christmas everyone! Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

* Trying Not To Overthink It

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 3 ROTH 3:1-12

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Sunday, December 04, 2011

* But For Our Olympic Coughing

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is EOLIST 4:1-90

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Monday, October 31, 2011

None Holds A Candle

If kids come trick-or-treating to your door tonight, be sure to dress properly.

The original and best
And if you're going to watch Halloween before bedtime, may I please press you to John Carpenter's original 1978 classic?

As with many things in life, there are sequels and remakes, but none holds a candle to the original.

Happy Halloween.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

* Less Squinting Of The Eye

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is iDIFFICULT 2:1-30

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Friday, October 14, 2011

Indigo 101 Redux

Revised! Updated! Now with Abbey and extra badgers! And video!

Well, it's possible that I may be getting a new visitor or two. If I'd known that you were coming, I'd have baked a cake. Or got dressed.

I've nothing prepared, so here's a quick catch-up on my most popular/favourite blog entries. I've arranged them into a few categories, so you can choose the kind of stuff you like. Ooh, before we get going, I'd best do this:

Dramatis Personae

Indigo Roth - me. Author. Artist. Occasional spy. Frequent fool.
iDifficult/Max - my best friend. Part-time arch-genius. Unhinged.
Yavin - a badger engineer. Lives in the garden. Never speaks.
Abbey - my lovely neighbour. Always shoeless. Spiritually gifted.
Bear - a seven-foot tall black bear. Close friend and conscience.
King - a lion. Lives in my house. Steals my ties. Likes zebras.
Elliot - an elephant. Stoic parole officer assigned to iDifficult.

And just to warm you up, here's a self-portrait I drew for one of the entries below. * (It's worth a click to see detail)

One of my favourite pictures I've drawn. Ever.
My Favourite Stuff (Click a link)
- Thinking Outside The Box
- Rimsky Korsakov And Tonic
- Most Definitely Not Canon
- The Silence Of The Ducks

The Picture's The Thing
- Shaking The Family Tree
- Shoulda Been Armed For Bear
- In Awe Of Barefaced Talent
- Lawn Mowing Avoidance *

Adventures With iDifficult
- Just Like The Real Thing
- A Disconcerting Little Tune
- The Wisdom Of Invertebrates
- Super Rare Holographic Clergy

Lions And Badgers And Bears - Oh My!
- Ignore Any Quiet Knocking
- Sometimes They Even Think
- Taking Turns With Shrugs
- Some Scratching Of Chins
- Comfortable And Undemanding

The Abbey Arc
- Glacial In Its Glow
- It Must Be The Sunflowers
- The Butler Didn't Do It
- Receiving A Bad Grade

Dafter Stuff
- A Simple Flight Of Stairs
- Intervention In Aisle Three
- It All Ends With Jazz Hands
- Views From A Hill

Straighter Stuff
- For Today I Am The Dog
- Passing Into Mental Myth
- Stripped Of Red and Yellow
- Shifting Mental Loose Change

Longer Stuff
- A Shower Of Gravelly Memories
- Always A Cause To Dream
- A Ratchetting Of Vertebrae
- Manners Maketh The Man

Misunderstood
- A Frozen Game Of Patience
- Catching Passes In Traffic
- Season Two Finale

And once you make sense of all that, you might make sense of this:



Thanks for reading!


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2010

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Certainly No More Than Two

May I share something with you?

I drew this up when I sat down to take a long, hard look at my blogging life.

Indigo Roth's The Periorothic Table(Click on it, it's rather cool)

My life is not exactly one dimensional, but certainly no more than two.

No doubt you're naturally wondering what possible application this has.

Well, here's the formula for Sunday.

Indigo Roth, thoroughly plastered.There's a legend if you click. And yes, it's entirely accurate.

The first person who says I have too much time on my hands wins a prize.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Perhaps Not In Cold Weather

As ever, my time is not my own.

As a result, I have been away from my keyboard for a while. It's only been two weeks, of course, but that's an eternity in blogging terms, and the shareholders (dare I say stakeholders?) are getting restless. Dammit, they want to see product.

Well, that's too bad. Just typing is testing my mettle at the moment.

Indigo Roth, thoroughly plastered.I would normally find it easy to think outside the box, run ideas up the flagpole, and push the envelope. But despite my best efforts, after pushing the aforementioned envelope, I remain stationery.

You may ask how I came to be here. Well, that's a funny tale. Well, I expect I'll laugh about it in years to come. Though perhaps not in cold weather.

But for now, let's just say that if a close friend asks for your help testing his new invulnerability suit, don't let him run you over with a truck until beta testing is complete.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Sunday, September 18, 2011

* Receiving A Bad Grade

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is ABBEY 5:1-97

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Day To Remember

Today is the tenth anniversary of the events in New York City, Washington, and Pennsylvania.

I'm an odd duck at the best of times, and have little time for nations, or governments, or religion, or wars, or foreign policy.

However, I do believe that people can be remarkable.

For those who remember, I stand with you today.
For those who remember, I stand with you today.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011Photo respectfully borrowed from 911PatriotDayRide.info

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

* A Matter Of Respect

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is MAX 7:1-8

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Sunday, September 04, 2011

* Pockets Stuffed With Gold

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 3 ROTH 6:1-26

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Monday, August 29, 2011

* Behind Me As Ever

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 2 ROTH 5:1-32

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Sunday, August 21, 2011

* The Panic Is Infectious

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is EOLIST 2:1-41

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Sunday, August 14, 2011

* For A Stirring Chorus Rendition

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is MAX 4:1-54

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Sunday, August 07, 2011

* A Comfortable Silence Falls

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is EOLIST 1:1-74

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Sunday, July 31, 2011

* Not A Reliable Indicator

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is REDHEADS 2:1-50

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Friday, July 22, 2011

* Sadly Out Of Season

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is NUMPTIES 3:1-21

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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Making A Reasonable Argument

It's been a day of intrigue here in Cambridge.

King - our resident lion, connoisseur of zebras, and stealer of neckties - is an ambassador at the British Embassy. And occasionally he brings his work home with him.

This morning, I awoke to find him in my living room with the head of state for Antarctica, The Penguin Kaiser "Free Willy" Wilhelm.

Indigo Roth presents The Penguin Kaiser(Worth a click to check out his uniform)

After some introductions, I expressed my surprise, as I felt sure Antarctica was a nationless continent. The little old rockhopper gave me the red-eye and declared in a heavy Germanic accent, that:

Ve are a new nation, ja? Many have staked a claim to ze continent, but who iz bedder to claim zovereignty than ze indigenous inhabitants?

This seemed an entirely reasonable argument. And as a penguin, he seemed entirely representative. He continued:

Ve vill soon take our place on ze vorld stage. Ve are an expanding nation, and at some point, ve vill need lebensraum!

I frowned, trying to remember this word. King stepped in and translated it for me as "living room".

A few minutes later, after a flurry of Teutonic curses, I had the house to myself again; King had exited with his colleague, to escort him back to his Embassy.

I'm a reasonable guy.

But nobody messes with my living room.


Indigo

Dedicated to my zookeeping matey Dazza Jordan
This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

* Or Cold With Custard

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 1 ROTH 5:1-53

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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sharing A Brief Smile

Today is a beautiful Sunday.

Contrary to my usual behaviour, I think I'll go out and enjoy the sunshine. But I'd like to share a smile with you, albeit briefly, so I'll leave you with this bit of iconic fun.

Somewhere, Tony Montana is cursing from his Scarface graveThis is definitely worth a click.

Enjoy your day.

Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011
You can see the original film poster here

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

* Not A Funny Badger In Sight

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is RUMINATIONS 1:1-17

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Sunday, July 03, 2011

* I Don't Think I Nailed It

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 2 ROTH 4:1-68

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Sunday, June 26, 2011

* Bumping Into Furniture

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is BADGERS 4:1-56

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Monday, June 20, 2011

A Mess Of Gold Tinfoil

There's a lot of nonsense talked about the Apollo moon landing.

It's perhaps the most significant moment in human achievement, yet a lot of poo-pooers and conspiracy theorists reckon they were faked!

I was talking to one such fella the other day. He reckons they were staged in secret at an airbase out in Nevada, with cardboard sets, tons of sand, and a spaceship made out of corrugated cardboard, old shower rails and a whole mess of gold tinfoil.

I asked him where his evidence was. He said he knew a guy who once worked for Domino's who told him that the British fellas who put the whole thing together for the American government were paid off with pizza, and quietly whisked out of the country.

So, no actual evidence at all! Talk about gullible!

Indigo Roth - Moon Landing - DeclassifiedI guess some people will believe anything.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011

Monday, June 13, 2011

* Dreams of Trinity

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is UNITY 4-10:1-27

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Sunday, June 05, 2011

I May Choose Badly

It's odd the things we can't see.

Earlier this evening, I was bemoaning the rather bloated arc story on one of my favourite scifi TV shows, and the lack of decent plotlines within individual episodes.

You know how it goes. A long, sweeping plot that's driving a whole season along, frequently recurring secondary characters, endless references to other episodes, and a whole mess of characterisation.

All of which is lovely stuff, but not when it's done at the expense of entertaining plots.

Indigo Roth And The Prism Of DoomI'm a consumer, dammit, and I know what I want!

Right? Well...

When I sat back, weary and smug and bemoaned out, it occurred to me that maybe I've been guilty of doing the same thing of late. Right here, under your very discerning nose. The big story I'm writing, The Long Road Home? The fourth and "final" part (still in progress, almost there) has become a bit of a monster entry now, to the point where it's so chock-full of stuff that I'm considering splitting it up and delivering it over a number of tightly-spaced entries.

The very bloated arc story concept I was grumbling about earlier.

And there's the problem.

Some stories, some ideas, grow too big to squeeze into an episodic format. So we write bigger stories, and spread the ideas out. Some readers like these longer narratives, and may appreciate the craftsmanship and the fact that they're bursting with ideas, but they become harder to dip into. So, if all you're tuning in for is a few well-turned lines and some funny badgers while you have a coffee, it's probably a bit of a drag.

And frankly, arranging arc plot continuities over multiple entries as a perfectionist is a pain in the backside. You have to have most of it written, and then rewrite it to make it all hang together nicely.

So, perhaps I now appreciate the TV writer's lot a bit better.

It really can't be easy.

But still, I'm a consumer! And I'm fairly sure what I want to read*.

[* I have no idea what you want, of course. I'm always surprised what goes down well. Feel free to tell me, I may choose badly.]

So, I'll just put this tale to bed after a thorough and lean workout, and then get back to some short, fun stories. Frequent posts. Daft ideas. Eccentric characters. Funny badgers. You remember, right?

Until I write my book, anyway; stay tuned for that.

And stay tuned for the conclusion of The Long Road Home.

It'll be worth the wait.

Though you may need a flask and sandwiches.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011
Symbolic prism was blatantly stolen from Eveek.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

* A Classy Signature Hit

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is BADGERS 7:1-36

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Sunday, May 15, 2011

* A Sense Of Completism

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 1 ROTH 9:1-21

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

And Thankfully Never Used

I like my life. It's amazing.

Writing, drawing, eating, friends, family - what's not to like?

Okay, so it's also hectic, frustrating, bizarre and often impoverished. And despite my heroic height, mad skills and kind nature, some of the days end up being absolute shockers.

But I get through them, because there's always something better coming along.

Something creative and rewarding, imaginative and fun.

And dammit, I'm British. And proud.

Not proud of the government, you understand. They're shiftless, privileged wasters. Warmongers, liars and thieves, oh my!

But I'm proud of who I am and where I come from.

If I need a mantra for my days, it's this one, originally planned for use if we were invaded during World War Two, and thankfully never used. Advice for the besieged spirit.

Indigo Roth - The Best Of British - Keep Calm Carry OnIt hangs on my wall as a constant reminder to keep it together.

It's such a quintessentially British sentiment.

My name is Indigo Roth, and I am British.

Keep Calm. Carry On.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011Click to learn more about Keep Calm and Carry On

Indigo Roth - The Best Of British - Keep Calm Carry On

Saturday, May 07, 2011

* In A Variety Of Languages

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 2 ROTH 3:1-14

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Thursday, May 05, 2011

Not Quite Top Of The BIll

Hey Everyone,

Indigo here. How's it going?

After the expository excesses of Part Three of The Long Road Home, I'm relieved that I can now post something short and simple. As are you, I'm sure.

I'm delighted to report that one of my tales has found its way into print. Yes, the Cup Of Joe Coffee House Flash Fiction Collection Vol 1 by Indie publisher Wicked East Press contains a tale by yours truly. It's a proper book, with pages, words, an ISBN number and a barcode.

They even put my story near the end of the book.

Top of the bill? Not quite, but damned close.

Giddiness incarnateSee how happy I am?

I'm not going to tell you which tale they published, of course, as you'd just go and read it here. Though if you're determined, you could read everything I've ever posted.*

[* Let me know how that goes, okay? It'll take a couple of days, and a lot of coffee and cake. Please remember to post some comments on the way through. And to save me some cake.]

Anyway, if you fancy owning a slice of publishing history - yes, I really do have big plans for a worldwide bestseller - go wander over and support all of the 100-odd writers that contributed to this excellent book. This includes my good friend Ms. Fin (hey Letisia!) whose piece is achingly elusive and beautiful.

Currently, the book can be bought from:
- Amazon USA
- Amazon UK
- Barnes & Noble

None of us will see a penny for our effort, but it's excellent exposure and a good-looking volume. And whether you like the book or not, you'll be doing us and other customers a great service by leaving a review.

See you soon, thanks for listening,


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011