30 Days Of Roth - Day 21

Technology is a wonderful thing.

Until you really need it.

And then? Well, then it just doesn't fight fair.

By the way, for anyone who ever needed to understand the wonders of the male mind, head over to Alistair's blog from today. There's some lovely photos, too.


In Ever Decreasing Circles

At some point this evening, I'd like to get home.

I'm at a level crossing at 9:45pm, arguing with my SatNav.

Listen; you can hear her sharp-tongued Northern Irish reply after my first doomed question.

Okay, the train has gone. Which way now?

Are you asking for my help? I didn't think you needed any.

Look, I explained already. The road on the route was closed.

Yes. So you said. That all sounds a bit fishy to me.

It was closed for overnight repairs!

Yes, well you would say that, wouldn't you...

Well, it was!

And I told you to turn around and go back...

Why would I lie to you about it?

I think you were ignoring me. It's not the first time.

Look, I tried a cross country road, and hoped you'd reroute.

It was a road to nowhere. Turn around, I said, but noooo...

Sometimes you over-optimise. I just wanted to try another route.

Oh, so Mister Roth thinks I'm flawed now, does he?

No, that's not it - but you don't always know everything.

And you do, I suppose? Oh yes, Mister Roth is soooo clever.

Yeah, I'm so damned smart that I bought a SatNav.

Hey, I have a name, you know!

What? You do? I didn't realise.

Yes. My name is Coleen. You didn't notice my Irish lilt?

Well, of course I did. I rather like it, actually.

Oh, he says that now, when he's trying to sweet talk me...

No, I love the way you say "royndaboyt" instead of "roundabout".

Oh, heeere we go. Poking fun at the way I speak now, are we?

Look, I'm really tired - can't we just move on?

You should appreciate me more. You'd be lost without me.

But I'm lost with you!

Oh that's it! You're on your own, you ingrate.

Look, I don't think you're being very fair here...

I'm deleting my road data as we speak...

Oh good grief, please don't do that. Don't make me use a map!

You own a map? You've been looking at maps behind my back?!

No, of course not! I've not had one since I met you.

A likely story, you gigolo!

It's the truth! I don't own a map!

Here I am, working hard, and you're off with some paper Jezebel!

Well, you couldn't blame me if I did! You're so confrontational!

Oh, so now it's my fault? Can't you just admit you were wrong?

I've done nothing wrong beyond taking some initiative!

I'm waiting. La-la-la, I can wait all night.

This is soooo unreasonable!

Waitiiiing.

Okay, I was wrong! Now can we please go home?!

Not until you apologise for what you said about my accent.

Look. Coleen. You're right. It wasn't very nice of me. I'm sorry.

Silence.

Coleen? Please. I'm truly sorry.

I don't think you really mean that...


At some point this evening, I'd like to get home.

But I don't think it'll be anytime soon.

Indigo

Continue to Day 22 >>

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