Never To The Hardy Boys

At some point in your life, it's important to have a rock with a note tied to it thrown through your window.

It makes you feel like you've lived.

And when I say lived, I mean been stunned senseless.

Five minutes ago, I'm writing a list. I do this a lot more than I used to; I find if I don't write things down, I forget them. Shopping without a list? Winging a presentation without bullet points? Ordering everything on the menu without a menu? Forget it.

So anyway, I'm writing a list of things to do in 2013. These aren't New Years Resolutions, which are generally things that you're not going to do in the year to come. What I'm doing is writing a list of things I will do during 2013. It's a positive spin thing; I've not spent twenty years in corporate life without learning something.

So far I have decided that I want to:

1) Spend more time with friends. I always mean to, but always end up getting sucked into some escapade or another, or doing selfish solo stuff at home.

2) Take some exercise. I enjoy it, it's good for me, and I usually meet friendly folk while I'm doing it. This may even help number 1 along too?

3) Go on some dates. After six years of being single, I could say it's time to be in a new relationship, but hey - small steps, gently taken. Tho some nice sex would be just dandy. A shocking word for this blog, I know, but it's the truth.

4) Write a book. This is my true goal for 2013, and should really be number one on a list of one. But hey, if I toil away here like a hermit, I'll write crap and have no friends. Numbers 1 to 3 will help this one along. Especially the sex.

Upbeat, I ponder a possible number 5.

There's another goal lurking in my head, but it eludes me. Something important. I was thinking about it only yesterday, but now it's gone. What on earth was it? It's so frustrating to forget things. But that's why I write lists.

Ah well, I'm sure I'll think of it tomorrow.

Something heavy hits the back of my head. And I pass out.

Back in the now, I gently explore the rear of my skull and find no blood; it's tender, and there's a lump. Angrily, I grab the rock from the floor and note the incongruously pretty blue ribbon round it, holding the note in place.

I'm sure that never happened to the Hardy Boys. *

[ * You know, I always wanted them to team up with Nancy Drew and trade clothes with her; The Nancy Boys and Hardy Drew has a certain ring to it. ]

Turning, I see the window is wide open; at least they had the decency to choose a closed one when they delivered their message. Whoever they are.

Peering out, checking left and right, I'm surprised to see myself standing in the bushes to the left of the tree, next to the hedge. Yep, it's definitely me. Suit, tie, hair swept back; looking good. The figure gives me a cheery wave and, without a word, vanishes through the hedge, seemingly without regard for the awesome business clothes.

I stand, rubbing the back of my head, and consider my options. I could pursue myself, but it always gets complicated. Instead, I turn my attention to the note. Tugging the ribbon aside with a fading ember of irritation, I unfold the hand-written message and take it in. It says:

5) Avoid involvement in time travel and the ensuing paradoxes.

It doesn't have the positive spin of the first four, but as I wander downstairs to find an ice-bag for my head, I decide these are words to live by.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I HOPE 2013 IS AWESOME FOR US ALL!

Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2012