Thursday, December 23, 2010

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlefolk

To the tune of God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.*

(* Oh go on, sing it! You know it'll be fun!)

God rest ye merry, gentlefolk!
__Let nothing you dismay!
For Mssrs. Roth and 'Difficult
__Are saving Christmas Day!
They're bending rules and breaking laws
__To make sure all's okay
Great tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
__Great tidings of comfort and joy

It started with a simple note,
__Delivered Christmas Eve
Old Santa's gone, the message said,
__Us elves, we can't believe
There's no-one here to run the show,
__Saint Nick you must retrieve!
Roth, please help us and find the old boy, find the old boy,
__Roth please help us and find the old boy

A task like this was far too big
__For one man to succeed
So Roth called on iDifficult
__And told him of his need
I've just the thing, said 'Difficult,
__To Santa it will lead!
And unveiled a magnificent new toy, to find the old boy,
__Wow, a Santa seeking-missile, what a toy!

They both hopped on and blasted off
__Into the twilight sky
The radar showed no sign of him,
__Both east and west were tried
Then on a hunch, Roth steered them South,
__And then he gave a cry
At the South Pole! That jolly fat old boy! Santa Ahoy!
__In Antarctica, that jolly fat old boy!

They swooped in low, the radar sang,
__And Santa they did spy!
A prisoner of Jack Frost he was,
__With no word of a lie
A cage of ice, with penguin guards,
__A rescue they must try!
Roth just grinned and said that he had a ploy, to save the old boy,
__And hoped 'Difficult had brought all the right toys!

They landed safe just out of sight,
__And rummaged in the hold
A penguin suit, and burlesque clothes,
__A chainsaw and some gold
So Roth got dressed to try the plan,
__In the Antarctic cold
And he knew they would rescue the old boy! With him as decoy!
__Oh, these heroes, they would rescue the old boy!

The penguin guards just gawped at first,
__Could not believe their eyes!
A sexy dancing penguin babe,
__With garters on her thighs!
They rushed at Roth, then fought for dibs
__They wanted the first prize!
Roth just gave them some bump and grind, so coy! What a bad boy!
__As they fought away he tiptoed off, oh boy!

Behind the fray, young 'Difficult
__Freed Santa from the ice
The chainsaw made it easy work,
__He leapt free in a trice!
The penguins had forgotten Roth
__And how he'd looked so nice
So they legged it for 'Difficult's cool toy! Boosters deploy!
__And the trio blasted north upon that toy!

Jack Frost sent off a storm of snow
__And hoped that they'd get stuck
But Santa had some magic left,
__They had no need for luck
I'll get you next year! Frost did scowl,
__And Santa cried, You Schmuck!
And they flew to the North and certain joy! North pole ahoy!
__Roth and Difficult has rescued the old boy!

Their rescue done, they touched right down,
__The elves sent up a cheer!
Forget the milk and cookies lads,
__Said Santa, Who's for beer?
They toasted Life and Love and Friends,
__And Hope for the New Year!
And then Santa delivered worldwide joy! To all girls and boys!
__And great tidings of comfort and joy!


With love,

Indigo, King, Yavin, Hoth, Sollust, Bear, Clarice, and Abbey x

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2010


  1. Thanks for saving Christmas, Dear Roth!

  2. Hi CatLady! Hi eolist! Once again, it falls to you two dear ladies to prop up my flagging ego. I thank you. I fear the blog is winding down, but that's okay - all things have their time. Perhaps its time to divert to writing that book? Ah well, I remain philosophical and upbeat. A few more entries to wind up the Elliot/iDifficult story, with a curious little interlude to set the scene, and maybe a brainfart or two as icing on the cake. See you soon, and again, thank you. Indigo

  3. I love this! And I sang it all the way through, too! You are so effin' talented. What a classic. I can see this as an illustrated little book so easily.

    Hope your Christmas was merry and bright and wishing you a damn fine New Year!

  4. *raises both hats*

    Merci, ma'm'selle! Lyrics are too much fun, it wrote itself. But thank you x

  5. OK, I'm impressed. *goes away muttering*

  6. Very clever my dear ;)

    I hope your was wonderful! Happy New Year!

  7. Hey 'Difficult! Hey, you were there; all I did was write it down. I did consider adding a verse just for the Domino's we had delivered en route, but they'd never have believed how we did it. And get writing again, Monsieur! We're missing your epic displays of dropping ice cubes down the vest of conformity.

    Hey Kato! Fab to see you, K! And thank you. Crimbo is/was great, and New Year is almost upon us somehow? *sigh* I need more downtime. No, really! Hope to see more of you in 2011 x

    Thanks to you both! Indigo

  8. Wow! That was amazing, well done Sir!