Thursday, February 14, 2013

For A Stirring Chorus Rendition

Okay, Thursday already. It is Thursday, right? I'm tired and confused.

If you’ve been sensibly hiding under the bed to avoid the pair of them, Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese are running a writing challenge during February.

They know where you live, mind.






It’s a well-trodden cliché that travel broadens the mind.

But cliché or not, it’s true. Nothing blows away the cobwebs of complacent thought more than an exotic location, immersion in an unfamiliar culture, and the babble of an unknown language.

Or unknown time.

It’s Vienna, 1892. I’m sitting in a street café with my best friend, the arch-genius, Max; we’re having a late breakfast, possibly an early brunch. The smells of fresh bread, sweet pastries and hot coffee from our locale are intoxicating.

And honestly, the blintzes are to die for.

Vienna 1892 and full of cakesThis why we arrived at 8am - the best of the food is always within a half hour of it emerging from the oven. It will be several hours before we’re trampling our shadows. And right now, our shadows are sitting as comfortably as us, just a few yards away.

We got lucky with the weather, I note, sipping an exquisite cup of joe as I contemplate my first snack. Ordering this delicious spread was awkward with minimal German skills, but I think the waitress quickly got the idea we were hungry. And mercifully, with us dressed in immaculate morning suits and top hats, we at least looked respectable enough to pay for our meal.

Oh, luck has nothing to do with it, replies Max, fishing in his breast pocket. He produces an obsidian yoyo, frowns, and dips his hand again. Aha! He waves a small ornate brass device in my direction, which seems to be grafted onto a length of seaweed.

Temporal barometer?

Indeed. He smiles absently and gives the yoyo a few expert twirls. Its surface sparkles eerily with the stars of deep space. Taking a bite from a deliciously crisp bread roll crammed with butter and strong, gently-melted cheese, I decide to change the subject.

So, do we have a plan? My friend considers this as he tucks into his first cake of the day. It has cream and chocolate and nuts, and looks like it could kill a diabetic at ten paces.

Well, there’s some terrific museums and parks here, he muses, gazing distractedly at something on the pavement, and of course we could drop by in Sigmund Freud... His voice trails off, his attention still focused on ground level.

I follow his gaze, and slowly stop chewing and talking.

On the slate paves fifteen feet away, our shadows are out of synch with us. Mine waves his hands in an animated fashion, while Max's seems to shout periodically and scratch his head a lot. We watch for thirty seconds as this tableau unfolds.

Good gravy, are they playing charades?

My friend cocks his head while his silhouetted counterpart stands to begin his turn. With his arms held wide, he spins ominously, before descending and unleashing some kind of explosion.

Yeah, and I think I'm doing Independence Day?

Do they normally do this when we’re sitting quietly? Other shadows seems to be slipping further away from their owners to join the game.

Perhaps. I’ve never noticed, but we’re usually so busy! His consideration deepens. When we’re least active, we tend to be in a dimly lit room, watching movies while eating pizza.

He’s right, the evidence is inconclusive.

There’s quite a gathering of shadows now, each tenuously attached to its caster. Our doubles are both seated again, watching the shade of an artist from somewhere to our left act out the name of an opera.

Oh hell, I’m hopeless on opera, mumbles Max past as the last morsels of the cake. I drain my coffee and eye up what looks suspiciously like an amaretto über-éclair. I sniff it experimentally; no, the strong scent of cherries suggests kirsch liqueur. I pop it down and reach for some applestrudel instead.

Oh, I think that fella over there got it! The silhouette of a foppish fella to our right jumps up, dragging the darkness of his male companion with him. The two stand and appear to whisper, plotting their mime.

A double mime? Interesting... ruminates the evil genius, picking up the cake I’ve just abandoned. Hey, is this an amaretto éclair?

I shake my head, and the words No, cherry, die on my lips as the charade begins. Turning to Max, I whisper, This is a bit camp. And where did they get the cowboy hats?

My friend shakes his head, and then suddenly chokes on his éclair. Spluttering cherry cream, he wipes his mouth and finally manages to squeak, Good grief, are they doing Brokeback Mountain?!

I laugh easily, and after watching for a few more seconds I shout Home on the Range! at the assembled shadows. I receive some odd looks from the café’s flesh-and-blood patrons, but both of the mimers point at me with one hand while touching their nose with the other - Correct, Sir!

Some of the other shades then stand and, producing more cowboy hats, join their companions for a stirring, silent, chorus-line rendition of the wild west tune. There is thunderous mute applause.

I pick up the coffee urn and smile at Max.

More tea, Vicar?

Ten minutes later, our feast complete, we settle our bill in broken German and head away from the café. Our shadows detach themselves reluctantly from their lively silent party, and snap back into step with us.

Well, that was interesting, I understate, as we pass through the archway to the Grand Park. To my right, Max strolls along, once again playing with his yoyo. He offers a reflective Hmmm as he takes it Round The World, narrowly missing my top hat and a nanny pushing a pram. She starts and says something surprised in German. He apologises with a frown and a raise of his hat, and she then giggles and scurries away.

You know, I offer, considering my friend’s many eccentricities, it’d be an missed opportunity to visit Vienna in 1892 and not pop by to see Freud.

My friend scratches his short beard as he considers this proposition. Does he speak English?

Oh, I expect so, I cough, But I’m sure he’d be fascinated to have you on his couch even if he doesn’t.

Well, I’d love to ask him about his mother.

We continue our stroll through the park as our shadows shorten.

Travel does broaden the mind.

But time travel broadens, tenderises, rolls and roasts it.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2011-2013




37 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, I'm going to be keeping a close eye on my shadow from now on! I'd really like to know what happened when Max met Freud, too..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Ziva!

      Good plan, I bet your shadow gets up to all kinds of things. As for Max and Freud, they went into business together selling fast food.

      *rude joke warning*

      "Kentucky Freud Chicken: It's Mother Fuckin' Good!"

      They may not even use that slogan any more - I'm showing my age again, Z! Indigo x

      Delete
  2. Hmmmn. 'When Max Met Freud'.That sounds familiar. No diner scenes please. I think I'd wet myself!

    {And while I'm on the WHMS theme, my apologies for my last comment! Ha!}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Alistair! Steady Sir, you're getting yourself all in a tizzy. Have you been overdosing on your 'Gentleman's Supplement' again?! Indigo

      Delete
    2. Gentleman's supplament? I honestly have no idea what that is. I do hope it's not a euphemism for something rude old chap!


      {I recognised this as being from an earlier incarnation, although I thought it somewhat modified. I misremembered it as including the delightful EP.None the worse for a second outing though and like you say, it fits the bill nicely}

      Delete
    3. No Sir! Just an invigorating sulphur and liquorice bombe! Guaranteed to make you feel like a new man!

      (I changed 'Difficult to Max for no reason other than it was easy, but EP? I can't even think what that stands for; I'm tired. Do you mean EN = Elliot Nesh?)

      Delete
  3. Indigo, this is honestly fantastic. It's so wonderfully surreal and madcap, and full of imagination. It's also pretty funny.

    Of all the entries I've seen you post in February, this has been my favorite so far. I take my hat off to you, sir. My shadow, well...I can't be accountable for what he's doing at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey KZ! That's very kind of you matey, tho I must confess this is a piece I wrote a little while ago; I'm snowed under today, and it was a good fit for the theme. As for your shadow, well... would he do that in front of his old Principal? No, I didn't think so. Indigo

      Delete
  4. There is something Freudian about shadows doing charades, isn't there? Leave it to Max to think they were doing Brokeback Mountain!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Dufus! Shadows is as shadows does, as my mother always says. No really, she does. We come from the shady end of town, and she's full of dark aphorisms. Indigo

      Delete
  5. I think this is wonderful...oddly wonderful! I love the shadow players...maybe Peter Pan could join them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Amy! Oddly wonderful? I can live with that =) Indigo

      Delete
  6. Fascinated and will certainly be keeping a weather eye on my shadow from now on. Good one, Indigo. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah,a closer eye perhaps... Have you seen what it's DOING? Indigo

      Delete
    2. Today my shadow was not to be seen, unlike Jessie's which was 3 times the size of her!! x

      Delete
  7. From now on, I will be jerking my head around trying to spy on my shadow. I get into enough trouble by myself. I don't need my shadow getting me arrested or anything. I truly enjoyed your story today. I don't know how the hell you though of it, but I sure am glad you did!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hay Malisa! Careful with the neck, sudden movement will earn you nothing but an osteopathic appointment. As for how I did it, like I always say - Life delivers 'em, I just write them down. Indigo

      Delete
  8. Huh. Time travel to find a good blintz. And visit Freud (don't have any slips) ... who knew? Did you bring him a blintz?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey P.J.! D'you know, we DID take him one. He took one look at the long, rolled up confection, dripping with cream, and decided that Max had unresolved Oedipal issues; he pops back occasionally. Indigo

      Delete
  9. Even READING about time travel - as done by yourself - broadens, etc. the mind :) Very enjoyable read!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Jenn! Thank you, I'm delighted to have contributed to the broader worldview, however silly it is =) Indigo

      Delete
  10. I thought this piece was familiar, but well worth a second, third or even fourth read, my friend. And, for the record, Max's genius has nothing on yours. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Jayne =) Thank you, you've been a supporter through thick, thin and thinner. It means a lot to me. Indigo x

      Delete
    2. um - should that be thick and thicker? {hehehehe}

      Delete
    3. Go to your room, young man! I'll not have you be rude in the presence of a lady like Jayne.

      Delete
  11. A delightfully funny story. The food sounds delish, and I love the animated shadows. Now if I could just teach mine to do chores.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Linda! You know, that's not a bad idea; I'll mention it to Max. Indigo =)

      Delete
  12. The shadow thing has to be the most exquisite idea I've ever heard. I adore this. Truly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Linda! Thank you, I don't think I've ever rallied to "exquisite" before? Muchy appreciated =) Indigo

      Delete
  13. "his first cake of the day. It has cream and chocolate and nuts, and looks like it could kill a diabetic at ten paces."

    that sound delicious AND funny!

    Now I'm just hungry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Mia! I walked past a cake shop in Cambridge the other day, and the ghost of my gall bladder started working overtime. Man! But yes, I'm hungry too! Indigo x

      Delete
  14. Great story, Indigo! I particularly enjoyed these lines for some reason:

    "It will be several hours before we’re trampling our shadows. And right now, our shadows are sitting as comfortably as us, just a few yards away."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Mike! Glad you enjoyed it matey. I swear these sentences write themselves, but I was rather proud of that one too =) By the way, yours today was an absolute corker! Indigo

      Delete
  15. I've heard that Sigmund's mother, Amalia, made a mean blintz. But he overshadowed her so much that the her blintz genius never came to light. You really must have a chat with the shadows about that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Between you and I, Paula, Sigmund's mother was a very worried lady. Indigo x

      Delete
  16. Indigo, we have a serious problem. I'm running out of adjectives to describe just how wonderful your writing is. This is truly delightful. I'm so glad you joined our little challenge. (Yes, I'm pretending you had a choice in the matter.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Nicky, I'm genuinely flattered/humbled by that, thank you. But now then, I'll let you re-use some of those adjectives if you and Ziva will have me over for tea and crumpet sometime? I'd die happy ;) Indigo x

      Delete