There are seven rough lines scraped into the cell wall beside me.
Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese are running a 28 day writing challenge. I've not seen sunlight in days.
If you’re here by accident, call the police.
I’m losing track of how many stairs I’ve descended.
In fact, I can’t even recall where I am.
The shaft is wide and endlessly deep, the spiral staircase increasingly rickety and exposed to the depths. It’s getting darker as I go, and I’ve long since stopped trying to use my phone; no one is answering right now, and the signal has faded with the daylight above me.
There is a dreamlike quality to this scene, but I can smell the decay of wood, hear the urgent whispers of rusting iron nails, and can see my breath in the cold half light as the platform shifts under my weight.
Peering carefully over the edge, a frown I was unaware of deepens; the stairs continue, jerking down in an eccentric manner, almost defying perspective, into somewhere far darker than black.
I like a good metaphor as much as the next person, but this is unsettling me now. I think about turning round and heading back. Up, to the distant light.
My phone buzzes in the darkness. Finally!
A text message awaits me:
You can't walk away now.
And behind me, someone chuckles darkly.
This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2013
OMG... that gave me chills! Excellent! :)ReplyDelete
Hey Barb! Thank you ma'am, glad you enjoyed it. It didn't start out spooky, but life rarely does ;) IndigoDelete
You're scaring me, Indigo. I hope you get out of this alright and are able to continue participating in the rest of the writing challenge.ReplyDelete
Hey Dufus! No worries, I think I got home safe? Tho it's hard to be sure when your best friend owns a time machine. IndigoDelete
Oh...I'd walk away. I'd walk really fast...and I'd talk to myself. I'd talk to the person in back of me. Trust me - they'd rather kill themselves than kill me -- to put themselves out their misery. They probably would fear I'd come back to haunt them and never shut up...kinda like "Ghost".ReplyDelete
Now this is what I call writing...not that stuff I've been trying to do over at my blog. Nicely done. You drew me in from the get-go and I couldn't walk away.ReplyDelete
Hey Bryan, thank you, that's a very cool thing to say. And "Pshht!" sir, I enjoyed it way more over at your place. You have the best music, dancing monkeys, rootbeer and (duh) cookies. IndigoDelete
Can't walk. But can you run?ReplyDelete
Hey Shawn! You know, I'm so dim, that didn't occur to me? Still, my limb count seems correct, and all of them are attached, so it wasn't a disaster... And thank you, you're too kind. IndigoDelete
Fantastic writing yet again!ReplyDelete
I must confess though, that I misread "peering" for "peeing" which gave that sentence an entirely different image!
Hey Amy! Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. And fear not, this is a "non-peeing" compartment. Tho it's more fragrant in the next carriage. Wowsers! IndigoDelete
Ohh! Rickety stairs, darker than black... You've just described my dream home!ReplyDelete
A fantastic, menacing piece of writing, Indigo, I loved it. :)
Hey Ziva! Hah, I'm glad I could conjure something up for you. And thank you Z, that's quite a compliment =) Indigo xDelete
Nicely done Indigo! :) slightly scary, but dark...I like dark.ReplyDelete
Ah, Vicus old boy! What a pleasure to see you here! You like dark? Ooooh, got chocolate? IndigoDelete
Very atmospheric. Hey it's dark, darker than black in my kitchen as I type!!ReplyDelete
Hey Jack! Hah, I've been in your kitchen, and it gets mighty dark there, as dark as it gets. IndigoDelete
Wasn't expecting this to come from that prompt, and for that you deserve pointy-points! (Like regular points, only pointier) That chuckling part made my skin crawl :)ReplyDelete
Hey Jenn! Thank you, I do like to surprise a lady. And ooooh, I get POINTY POINTS?! Sweet! How many?! Indigo xDelete
It isn't about the number, it's about the pointy-ness :)Delete
Hey Jenn! Oh my, I couldn't agree more! I love pointy xDelete
Walk? I'd be running! Very chilling, indeed. Enjoyed it!!ReplyDelete
Hey Linda! Glad you enjoyed it, there's no finer praise for an old scribbler like me =) IndigoDelete
Turn around and whip some butt! Fight, fight, fight!ReplyDelete
Hey P.J.! Hey, I remember you. You were always hanging around the playground, ready to tattle on us to a teacher at the first hint of fistycuffs. I'd like to thank you, you saved me many a beating from older, stupid, ugly boys. IndigoDelete
*queue skreechy music* we need more - more of the story ... to be continued?ReplyDelete
Hey Tami! Not a hope, my laundry bill couldn't take it! But I'm happy to leave you wanting more ;) IndigoDelete
I actually got a cold chill when I reached the end of this! Well done, Sir.ReplyDelete
Hey Linda! Cold chill? *tick* My work here is done! Indigo xDelete
Amazingly creepy and amazingly wonderful. Now I'm going to ruin it by admitting something. I am tired. I need glasses... and I have a drink next to me. I read "Peering carefully over the edge" as "Peeing carefully over the edge." I am OH SO SORRY.ReplyDelete
Hey Katherine! I forgive you, we're all strung out by this time. And good grief, there's so much of it left. Indigo xDelete
I'm convinced that this scary story is actually about Nicky and Mike's 30 Days Minus 2 of Writing. And that truly is frightening.ReplyDelete
Hey Mike! I'm looking ahead at the prompts, and it sure scares the hell out of me. IndigoDelete
That dark chuckling will get you every time.ReplyDelete
Hey Pearl! What was that about Chuck the Duckling? Indigo xDelete
Is this what they call a self-referential extended metaphor? I love the structure of this post. You start off in heavy figurative language, then call attention to it as if you're going to write plainly in the remaining sentences, and then you cap it with something abstract. As a reader, I was pleasantly surprised.ReplyDelete
Also, great descriptive language. It all felt very menacing.
Hey KZ! Well, I can honestly say you thought more about it than I did =) But Sir, I'm pleased you liked it, whatever I did. IndigoDelete