It was a close run thing; I had to walk with purpose to the office and then forego my ritual coffee and breakfast.

But as I find a seat and claim my space at the table, it seems clear that the facilitator is still messing about with the audiovisual link to our other office. This is annoying and frustrating most of the time, but today it smells like Opportunity. I pause for a moment, unsure whether to act.
To hell with this, I want coffee.
I step outside without explanation, and stride meaningfully down the full length of the building. My mother says I look angry when I do this. I'm not sure if it's true, but I've observed that folk don't tend to step in my way. Well, not twice, anyway.
I reach the kitchen and find that the coffee machine is free. I pop my mug in and push the button for an Americano - a shot of espresso with some hot water in it. A bit of a lame brew in itself, but I intend to add a double espresso to my large mug if there's time.
And so it begins. The grinding. The gurgling. The slightly incontinent dribble of steamin'-hot Joe into the mug.
Slow, slow, slooooow.
Oh, come on! Come ooooon!
Good grief, it's unbearable! I need to get moving! The meeting could start at any moment, and I hate being late. My heart is pounding, and all I can think of is how long this damned coffee machine is taking. I'll never have time for the second shot of coffee.
But without fanfare, a curious thought crosses my mind.
How long until I am missed? Two minutes maybe?
I breathe deeply, and start to count slowly.
One second. Two. Three.
Time slows. Or rather, my perception of it does. Instead of focussing on how long this machine is taking, of how it eats seconds that I do not have, I simply mark the passage of those seconds.
Time slows. I notice out of the window the first shafts of breakthrough sunlight after days of rain. My mind wanders to the windows rattling and showering beneath the overnight storm as I lay curled in my warm, comfortable bed.
Time slows. My heart slows. No hurry. No panic.
The Americano finishes.
Twenty seconds. Twenty one.
I drift back to the machine, and hit the button for the double espresso. This is notoriously slow. But I'm not thinking about it.
Time slows. My counting becomes automatic, a background task, a slow pulse that divides the days into wide, leisurely slices. I look forward to the weekend, to company and good food, to time spent with those closest to me.
Thirty seconds. Thirty one.
A few seconds ago, time was compressed. Now, it is distended. Nothing has changed except my perception of its passage.
For the first time, I understand relativity.
Forty seconds. The espresso finishes.
Forty seconds.
Forty seconds. Time stops.
There is a profound feeling of total calm.
I have all the time in the world.
I collect my mug and take an ambling walk back down the corridor.
Indigo
This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2009/2012
I call this "slow therapy". When I start getting frantic, I just slow down my breathing and move more slowly. (I use it the most often in the grocery store or at the gas station, where I always seem to get in the slowest queue.)
ReplyDeleteHey Boom Boom! I'm slow a the best of times, but you may be on to something there. And as with most things, go with what works! Roth x
DeleteI usually try to ask myself, "what's the worst thing that can happen?" and that sometimes relaxes me. Sometimes the answer is I will be mutilated, raped, murdered and have my house burned down. So it doesn't always work.
ReplyDeleteBecause you invite strange Arab boys to your home!!!! I rest my case. ;)
DeleteHey Linda! I go with whatever works. But yeah, you have to ask the right question ;> Jayne, play nicely! x Indigo
DeleteTypo, sweetie... I think you meant "Mother says..."
ReplyDeleteI was waiting for you to stop time altogether because I honestly believe you're capable of such things. Hope you got a biscuit, as well. ;)
Hey Jayne! Thanks for the editorial; after midnight isn't my most attentive time. And thanks for the confidence, I try x Indigo
DeleteI quite often slow down time, Matrix style. I look half daft flailing around in slow mo though :)
ReplyDeleteHey Robbie! Your Matrix name is Retro, and you are The One! "Hmmm. Upgrades." Roth
Deletepetite phact: medical science has proven that the aroma of brewing coffee and/or freshly ground coffee beans induces relaxation...
ReplyDeleteyou got a double shot of call all the way. ;)
so glad you realized you were important enough to take care of yourself first. x
Hey Eolist! All these things are true! Now, I must get to work on my EolistBlend coffee branding... Roth x
DeleteI have 18 double espressos a day. I wish I could be as relaxed as you are.
ReplyDeleteHey Max! Frankly, I'm surprised you can even type after that much. Do you shake at the weekends? Roth
DeleteRattle and roll, mate
DeleteThis is why you were voted "boy most likely to initiate an international incident" back at St. Mungo's.
DeleteNothing should come before coffee. Nothing. Not even time. I mean, I imagine that's how it would feel if I drank it :P
ReplyDeleteHey Kato! No coffee for you? But I have this nice jug of EolistBlend... are you sure? Indigo x
DeleteWoah! I'm really digging the template/theme of this blog. It's ѕimple, yet effесtive.
ReplyDeleteA lot of times it's tough to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you have done a excellent job with this. Also, the blog loads very fast for me on Safari. Exceptional Blog!
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